Nothing Left For You (Vminkook)

21

Jimin

We leave after the announcement, I think we both need the time to react without everyone watching us.

It all has been happening so fast the past few months and I can't even process the fact that they planned the day I would be married without asking me.

The one time I'll ever be married in my life and I can't even pick the day.

I know I have way bigger things to think about but the fact that they took that away too, it made me mad as hell.

It wasn't fair, it just wasn't fucking fair.

I've been watching my whole life get planned around me since I turned seventeen and now they take my wedding day?

It seems small and petty but that's all I had left.

And if I was going to be marrying a man that can barely smile when he sees me anymore then I at least wanted to pick the goddamn day.

If I was going to be spending the next years of my life wondering when my husband was going to leave me I at least wanted to pick my wedding day.

Was it too much to ask? Was I legitimately being unreasonable?

When I look over at Taehyung he has an expression on his face that I can't quite understand.

He was probably thinking about how fucked up this whole situation was.

I even find myself apologizing when we get home, like it was my fault.

"For what?" He asks, his back to me as he undresses.

I sigh, what the hell was I apologizing for? "I'm sorry that we couldn't pick the date."

"It's just a stupid date, stop being ridiculous." He says in annoyance as he grabs a towel and goes to the bathroom.

I feel my features crumble as soon as the bathroom door shuts.

Tears cascading down my face as I sink down onto our bed.

"Just a stupid date." I repeat to myself, my voice wavering. "It's just a stupid date?"

I remove my jewelry, along with my engagement ring, before standing and going to get changed.

After I change I grab my journal and go outside on the balcony.

It's cold outside and the wind is blowing, making the tears feel colder on my cheeks.

I don't really mind the freezing wind as I sit to write.

10/13/19

I've always dreamt of having a summer wedding.

Outside, decorated with yellow marigolds.

Marigolds only bloom in the summer.

And I'm not sure if anyone would want to be outside in January when the air was still cold.

I'm getting married.

To the love of my life, the only man I could dream of being with forever.

I'm marrying him and I should be happy.

I should be nearly jumping up and down in excitement, but I can't.

How could I?

He literally called it "a stupid date".

It meant close to nothing to him, how could I be excited when I feel like I'm burdening him?