Hidden thoughts

Chapter 22

The following day Rey and Leia took it in turns to stay by my side and by the time the medical droids discharged me I was feeling vastly better, just a dull ache remaining in my side and back.  I had been lucky that the blaster shot hadn't done any lasting damage. 

Rey settled me down in one of the bunks on board the Falcon and we headed up into the sky.  Chewbacca had set a course for Chandrila, a peaceful and quiet planet and one that he hoped we could all disappear into. It was a planet I knew well, the place of my birth.  The hospital droids had washed and repaired my clothes but I only wore trousers and a vest top, anything else was too painful. 

When we landed Rey helped me up and we headed down the ramp and out into sunshine and what we saw took our breath away.  It was more beautiful than I remembered.  Green rolling hills led down to fast flowing, clear rivers and the sky was a deep blue.  Rey turned to me and I returned her gaze, just as amazed.  Chewbacca and Leia walked off next arm in arm, "Chandrilla always reminds me of Alderaan" she said sadly.

Rey and Leia headed off to get supplies whilst I rested on the Falcon with Chewbacca.  I could tell that he hadn't forgiven me by the bad tempered way he growled when I got in his way.

After that I watched Rey busy herself making the Falcon comfortable, even placing a pink flower in a pot above some of the flashing lights.  She saw me watching from where I lay and smiled warmly at me, skipping over and kissing my cheek.  I smiled back at her "Beautiful" she whispered touching my lips.  I carried on smiling this time, only stopping when I realised that my mother was watching, a smile on her own face.  Rey looked up then, her face colouring.  Leia held up her hands, "I think it's wonderful" she said walking to join Chewie.  "How do you feel?" Rey asked, "I'm fine" I replied taking her hand and rubbing it, "If you feel well enough tomorrow we should go for a walk Ben it's beautiful here". That made me smile again, I couldn't remember the last time that I had had the option of 'going for a walk'. I nodded and Rey leaned in and kissed me on my lips, sending that now all too familiar longing through my body in waves.

That night Rey helped me to the shower room and I washed, feeling the warm water on my skin. Thinking of Rey, my mother and Hux, I kept thinking of Hux. Was he dead? Poe had said that he'd blown up my base but had he? Stop it I told myself. Regardless of what has happened, my place is here now and yet I still kept thinking about my room back at the base and whether it still existed.

I climbed into my bunk. Rey came over to kiss me good night. She was only wearing a smock and I only wore boxer shorts. She sat on the edge of the bunk and leant over me, her soft hair tickling my face. I pulled her face down to me and we kissed. I pushed my tongue into her mouth and she reciprocated, our hands caressing each other's hair and necks. I moaned quietly in between kisses as did she and every few minutes we would break apart, breathing heavily. Finally she pulled back and we stared at each other, both of our lips were slightly parted and our heavy breaths matched each other's, "Stay with me Rey?" I found myself saying. Rey looked around, "What about Leia and Chewy?", "If we are quiet and turn down the lights they'll never know" I whispered. I was so desperate for her that I would have said anything in that moment. Rey paused and then nodded, sliding under the covers and lying next to me in the bunk.