Going to heaven

A Morning With Uncle Bri

Blake POV

I woke up and looked around to find Freddie next to me. I smiled a little but then frowned. Even in heaven I still suffer... I unhooked myself from Freddie's arm making sure he was still sleeping and slipped out of the bed. I looked at the clock on the nightstand. It read 3:00am I looked back at Freddie, he was still sleeping. I walked out of the room closing the door quietly and walking downstairs. I opened the back door quietly and slipped out into the backyard. I layer down on the grass and looked up at the stars. "I don't understand why.. I just- I.." I sighed again. "This is supposed to be heaven! Why do I still feel like shit..." I started crying softly. This time I hadn't stopped myself I let myself sob unlike many times when I was still alive. After awhile of crying and looking at the stars I went inside to grab one of the acoustic guitars downstairs and went back inside. I started playing and singing quietly. At one point I put the guitar down and started singing the lyrics to For Good from Wicked

I've heard it said that people come into our lives
For a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led to those who help us most to grow
If we let them  and we help them in return

Well I don't know if I believe if that's true
But I know I'm who I am today because I knew you...

Like a comet pulled from orbit as it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder halfway through the wood
Who can say if I've been changed for the better?
Because I knew you...

I have been changed for good....

I sang the rest in my chest voice making it stronger. I got to point of the song where it gets stronger and louder and I felt happier. I smiled.

And just to clear the air I ask forgiveness
For the things I've done you blamed me for

But then I guess we know there's blame to share

I sang the rest of the song in Glinda's part so it was softer but I still felt happier. Singing always made me happier.

For good.....

I smiled. The feeling of fear subsided and I smiled. I looked up at the stars. I heard the door open and close. My eyes widened. I looked back to see Brian standing there looking at me. I smiled. "H-Hi Brian..." he smiled. "That's was nice what you were singing but why are you up?" He smirked. I looked down. "Why are you up?" I looked at him challengingly. "Touché" He sat down next to me. "I'm guessing you came to watch the sunset and a little bit of the stars hmm?" He nodded and smiled more. "Did you hear all of the song,more than that or just a little bit of the song?" He looked at me. "Just the song why?" I shook my head "nothing." I looked at sky which was starting to fade into a lighter blue. "What time is it?" I turned to him. He checked his watch. "5:00am." I thought for a minute. I was here for 2 hours.. huh. "Why do you have a watch on?" He looked at me. "I wanted to check the time so I knew when I should come inside." I nodded. "Brian....how did you feel when Freddie died?..." He became stiff. I realized how bad that might've sounded. "I-I'm sorry! You don't have to answer that I'm just gonna go-." He grabbed my hand before I could leave. "It's ok....umm it's ok now. I have him back." I sat down and looked at him shyly waiting for his response to my question. "Well it was painful and I became...suicidal...it was hard." I looked at him and gave him a hug. "I know what it feels like Bri... trust me I do." He hugged me back and we sat there for a while. "Why did you want to know?" He asked wiping a tear from his face and pulling away from me. I smiled a little "I-I wanted to know if maybe my death that's what my mom felt... I don't know... it was stupid." He shook his head "No it's not, come here." I hugged him again. "Can you sing 39'?" I asked him shyly. He looked at me and smiled. "Ok"

Ahhhhh
In the year of 39 assembled here the volunteers
In the days where lands were few
Here the ship sailed out into the blue and sunny morn
The sweetest sight ever seen...

He kept singing as I watched the sunrise and dozed off again.

Brian POV

After about the second verse I realized Blake was asleep. I smiled down at her. I missed my kids. I really missed Anita and Roger. I watched the sunrise for a bit then decided I should probably put Blake back in her bed. I picked her up and went inside and carried her to her room. I had a tricky time opening the door but I managed and opened it to find Freddie asleep in her bed. I smiled. I put her on the bed and put the covers over her. I then walked out and closed the door quietly. I checked my watch. It read 7:00am. I had about another hour to sleep in. Instead I grabbed a book from my room about astrophysics and read in my room until my 8:00am alarm went off. I silenced it and kept reading. At one point I stopped reading and I started thinking while looking at the sky through the window in my room. "I wonder how my kids are doing... I hope they are ok. I hope Anita's okay. I hope- I hope Roger's okay...."