Phoenix Pact Into The Marvel Universe Volume #1 [Satire]

Issue #1 - Fishes Out of Water

*Morning*
*Beach*

*Slowly, the sound of waves splashing onto wet sand and fizzling water soothed the ears of a barely conscious Gyro. Through her drowsy state, she struggled to open her eyes. She could only catch a blurry glimpse of the calming shore and bright sun before her eyes closed. She tries again to open them, glimpsing at a blurry figure a few feet away from her who was gazing over the sea.

Her sudden sight of the sun struck her eyes. She could only shut her eyes in retaliation, with a whimpering groan showing her anguish, giving in to rest*

[Sparky: Where...are we?]
[Arctic: Gyro? Are you okay!?]

*Gyro completely opened her eyes, directly looking at Arctic, who was kneeling by her. She waves him off, turning to her side, and closed her eyes again*

Gyro: Just a few more minutes...
Arctic: Alright, but...there's a crab headed to your feet.

*She jolts up from the ground and onto her feet, searching for the crab that Arctic just picked up. Arctic clears his throat causing Gyro to quickly snap her attention onto him then to the crab in his hand*

Gyro: I say we have Heat roast the little sucker.
Arctic: We could...

*Arctic takes a few steps back toward the ocean, returning the crab back to its home, then steps back to Gyro*

Arctic: Or, we could figure out where we are. At least so we're not forced to eat seafood-
Heat: Okay, good...you both are conscious.

*The two looked over to Heat, who walked up to them. She takes a quick glance behind her, scanning the small empty playground, the vacant nearby benches and the nearby desolate trail.

She gives a long exhausted sigh, looking back to them while putting her hand on the back of her head.*

Heat: Okay...so-
Sparky: Guys.

*They all looked over to Sparky, who was still a few feet away from them, kneeling closer to the shore. He picks up sand and slowly rubs it against his fingers*

Sparky: Something's not right here.
Gyro: Yeah, no sh*t!
Heat: Well, obviously we're far away from Twilight Valley.
Sparky: Very...very far away. It seems.

*Gyro softly groans while cradling her head*

Gyro: Okay, does anyone else have, like a huge headache?
Arctic: I couldn't tell if that was because of my helmet or the fact, I forgot to eat breakfast.

*Sparky stands up, still gazing at the vast sea that surrounds the beach. He walks over to the group, reaching into his vest pocket while sternly looking to each of them*

Sparky: Or, for that matter, does anyone remember anything that happened? Other then us being in our base and some huge light?
Heat: No...I barely remember that even happened, until you just said that.

*Arctic and Gyro shook their heads as Sparky gave Gyro a bottle of pain pills. She grabs it with Sparky gazing back, to the sea, to a small obscure island barely caught within eyesight. He and Heat gaze behind themselves to see a nearby narrow sandy path leading into a coastal suburb*

Sparky: So, I'm guessing, we got teleported...I think?
Arctic: Well in that case, is anyone missing a kidney?

*Gyro pads her kidneys*

Gyro: Not yet.
Heat: And there's no one here. And...how are we going to get back to Twilight Valley?
Sparky: Don't worry, I got that covered. We just need to get to an ATM and get a map.
Heat: Are you going to hack another ATM again? What if we get in trouble this time?
Sparky: We run-
Heat: Sparky! We can't just be siphoning off money like that. We'll figure something out...legally.
Sparky: All right, we'll do it your way, Heat. Get back to Twilight Valley the slow way.