Yours Truly, Me (Troyler)

✉️Chapter 10✉️

Troye POV

As soon as I come to, I know I didn't fall asleep alone. I just don't remember too much of last night.

Dim memories resurface as I glance at the person I'm practically on top of when I see that it's Tyler. We watched The Hunger Games... We got a little drunk... I came out to him...

Shit.

Oh well. I can't take it back now. But what if he knows I'm LT now?

Oh, God, if he knows, I don't think I could look him in the eye. Oh my God.

But I would've remembered more from last night if he knew. He might've just been too drunk to put it together. I hold onto this hope until I remember just how utterly sober he was when he asked me if I was gay.

Wait a minute. How did he find out agai-

Damn you Zoë.

I quietly ease myself out my Tyler's arms, which have been haphazardly thrown around me, and decide to go to the bathroom to shower and brush my teeth, because they smell like literal death right now.

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Approximately half an hour later, I leave the bathroom with a strong quiff and new outfit that doesn't smell vaguely of booze. I don't know what time it is, but I guess it's still pretty early, comsidering the sun isn't completely up and Tyler's still snoring peacefully on the bed. Once I check my phone, I discover that it's about ten before seven, and that neither of us have to be anywhere for at least three hours.

I look longingly in the direction of The Hunger Games movie, since I barely watched it last night, for some reason. I probably should've mentioned earlier, but the first time I saw the move was at Playlist with Tyler, actually, the day it came out, which was the day after Tyler's birthday. I don't know why, I just didn't even think about that yesterday. I mean, I wasn't like, sitting next to Tyler when I saw it, but at the time I wish I was. I don't even remember who I was with at the time. Probably Connor or Ricky Dillon or someone like that, I don't know.

I decide to put the movie back on, and lay down on the bed with Tyler but next close to him like I was last night. God, if I wasn't drunk last night, I don't think I ever would've done that.

Speaking of that, and the fact that Tyler may just start suspecting me of being LT, I grab my laptop while the movie goes through the part I do remember watching last night, and send him an email from my alternate account:

nutellaaddict1995@hotmail.com: Hey, what'd you do last night Tilly?

Yours Truly,

Me

As I hit send, I heard Tyler groaning as he started to awaken. "Ugh, what time is it?" he mumbles to the ceiling.

"It is about seven 'o clock, Ty. Sorry if I woke you, I got up about an hour ago."

He squinted above him, and I remembered that he probably couldn't see well without his glasses. I locate them on the bedside table, reach over and grab them, then hand them to him. He gives a grateful look in my direction while slipping them on. While his vision comes into focus, he blinks a couple times then focuses on me. "Thanks. So about last night, you were pretty out of it, and I was wondering how much you remember."

I wave my hand in an I-get-it gesture, and reply,"I remember what I said last night, Tyler. And I wasn't lying. I am gay."

He nods thoughtfully. "Yeah, I meant to ask you more about it last night, but you were pretty out of it. How come you didn't say anything before?" he asks with a slightly hurt look on his face, which surprised me. I thought that it was both not a big deal at all and a far too big deal to come forward with, considering the circumstances.

I shrugged, trying to look like I didn't care. "You never asked, and it never seemed important enough to mention. Plus, it's not like I had an opportunity, since my love-life is pretty non-existent."

He's scrutinizing me right now, I can tell, as if trying to find any little detail that could show I'm lying. I don't think he believes me, because if it weren't such a big deal, I would've corrected him all the times anyone asked if I had a girlfriend back home. Indeed, that is a flaw in my otherwise perfectly delivered lines of bullshit. But I can't do anything about it.

"Alright," he says finally,"I guess I see your point." He pauses, before adding,"I'm really proud of you, Troye."

I raise an eyebrow at him. "For being who I am?" I ask in a monotone voice.

"Exactly, Mellet. Now come here, a coming out hug is in order."

I scoffed, and said before thinking,"We were pretty wrapped up in each others' arms when I woke up this morning, Tilly." He blushes, and before I can say anything stupid again, I say in my baby-talkish voice,"Aw, come 'ere, you," and wrap him in my arms, squeezing tightly, as if he were my lifeline, which, for a while, he actually was. I wish I didn't have to admit that. No one should need someone else as their lifeline, because what if they fail? Wouldn't they just bring you down with them?

I need to stop thinking so cynically like this.

I rest my chin on his shoulder, my lips slightly brushing his earlobe, just perfectly content in the arms of my best friend.

Wait.

Best friend.

It's halfway there, to being ready to tell him. If I know for absolute sure that we're both best friends, then I'll tell him. I don't think I could tell him to his face, though. I really don't think I could handle that. I might just tell him over a message, after Vidcon is over and we're in different continents.

I don't know. I know I owe it to him to tell him to his face, but I don't think I could handle it.

I snap out of my thoughts for the sake of Tyler, so I don't seem to be constantly zoning out on him, which is all I have been doing lately.

He gives me one final reassuring squeeze, before pulling away. He looks me in the eye with several emotions running through them that I can't quite deduce. He ends up clapping the back of my shoulder, saying,"You're a good man, Troye-boy. Anyone on the planet would be lucky to have you, guy or girl or anyone else."

I smile at him, because I think I needed to hear that, too. "Thanks, Ty. Really."

"I'm here for you, whenever you need me. Just remember that."

I chuckle, trying to sound joking, but probably failing. "We sound like we're bffs now."

He raises his eyebrows at me before saying, hesitantly, I might add,"I thought we were bffs."

He sounded so serious and genuine that I don't know how to react for a second. But I save myself just I time. "Well, of course we're not bffs. We're bGfs, Best Gay Friends." I pause, trying but failing to gauge his reaction. "But seriously, you're my best friend, Ty."

He smiles rather perkily at me, just beaming with happiness and joy. "And you, mine. Now come on, let's go to Taco Bell!"

I laugh, while he links his arm in mine, asking,"Where the hell are you going to find a Taco Bell in Florence, Italy, the home of the Renaissance and da Vinci and Michelangelo?"

"Well, my fine 'young friend who did not go to high school so how the hell did you know that?', we shall walk around said Florence, Italy, until we find one. Or at least somewhere with Mexican food."

I gladly let him lead me out the door, asking,"You're not even going to do your hair, Tylah?"

Normally, I suppose Tyler would've flipped his shit when he heard this, but instead, he just sassily flicked his wrist, and told me,"I woke up like this," doing the best Beyoncé impression I've heard in a while. I laughed, yet again, and we finally left this time.

I have to tell him. I really do. I won't even warn him, I'll just tell him over a message, or even find a way to indirectly make it blatantly obvious. But I'll wait until I get home. I can do myself that much of a favor.