Yours Truly, Me (Troyler)

✉️Chapter 13✉️

Troye POV

As soon as Zoë texted me about staying at her place for a ten days in Brighton with Tyler and Connor, I responded back saying,'YEESESEEESEEEEEEEEEEESESSSSSESSS!' mainly because I was so enthusiastic that I couldn't type coherently.

Two days before the trip, I got a confirmation from Zoë that both of the others were going to make it, too.

I was going to see Tyler again.

Our last exchanges before the Vidcon trip officially ended hadn't gone well, both with LT and PT, in different ways entirely, but we've pushed past that on both sides of me. We've talked almost every day on both ends, and as guilty as I felt about it, it was nice to see exactly what Tyler was actually thinking when he talked to me over Skype when he told me over nutellaaddict1995@hotmail.com.

The way he talks about me to me is strangely gratifying, but to be perfectly honest, I kind of thought it was a cruel joke when he messaged me on that plane that he loved 'Troye and you.' I thought, for a moment, that he knew exactly who I was the whole time, and was either 1.) making fun of me for it or 2.) was trying to make me feel better about the whole thing or 3.) actually had somewhat genuine feelings for me.

I figured it was the first one, but after a bit more messaging, careful not to give myself completely away, I realized he had no idea, still.

That made me feel both better and worse. He thinks he's in love with two different people, if he even is in love with either parts of me he knows, and while there's a chance he would be completely head over heels with the 'two people' he 'loves' joined together, there's also the chance that those 'two people' would cancel each other out, and that he doesn't think LT and PT work together, like oil and water.

Does that make sense?

Sorry if it doesn't. But it makes perfect sense to me, and that's what matters.

Anyways, ( I realized that the proper term is anyway, but I always say anyways, so whatever ) I should probably update you on what's happening at the moment and where I am, like one of Zoella's vlogs.

I'm on an airplane right now, on my way to England, and as far as I know, Connor and Tyler would be arriving together, and they would be there about three hours before me. Not exactly fair, but hey, they're traveling with the rotation of world, unlike myself coming from Australia.

Wait, wouldn't that make me faster?

I'm confused.

I can literally hear Tyler's cackling laugh right now, joined with him yelling,'Aren't you always?'

I really need to tone down my... What's the right word... Obsession? Love? Fascination? I know, infatuation. That's the right word, for how I feel when we're not in each others' presences.

When we are, well, hun', that's called love. There's no denying that.

Anyways, I'm on the way to Brighton, watching some Family Guy on these awesome little handheld TVs that have more shows and movies than Netflix.

But after a few episodes, I've gotten lost in thought, thinking about Tyler and TSM and everything that's happened ever since I actually met Tyler in person.

If I think about it too much, I might get a migraine. This trip makes me anxious, because one of the reasons I was so frantic with my response was because I really just wanted to see how Tyler acted around me in person. To see if he was genuine or teasing or lying or wrong. Emotionless words can only tell me so much, even if they do have emotion laced in them.

Even if what he says is confirmed, I don't think I'll act on my feelings during this trip. God, I want to. I do. But we've been friends for only about a year, ( in physical form ), and I don't think I'm ready to give up that friendship incase things go awry. That, and, as I've told Tyler in the letters before on more than one occasion, I'm slightly terrified of the concept of love.