Yours Truly, Me (Troyler)

✉️Chapter 14✉️

Tyler POV

By the time Troye and I got in the car, I was ecstatic.

I in no way am saying he has feelings for me, or that he's interested in me, but when I practically snuggled on him in the airport, he never objected. In fact, he encouraged it. In that moment, it felt like Hazel Grace's quote: 'I fell in love the way you fall asleep; slowly, then all at once.'

I knew I've been in love with him, but there were the warnings in the back of my mind that it could be platonic or forced or wrong. But when I leaned my head against his shoulder, it was then I knew: I was undeniably and irrevocably in love with Troye Sivan Mellet.

But I knew my feelings for TSM weren't dissipated. Not at all. But Troye made me feel like I was walking the fine line between too-good-to-be-true and completely-and-madly-insanely-dreaming.

We had a nice, friendly banter going on the shuttle and in the airport. Talking about horizontal buttcracks and opposite-sided cars. When Troye mentioned that bit about thinking about Troyler fanfiction while talking about the horizontal buttcracks, it took me slightly off guard. I think he noticed, too, but didn't comment on it. He probably thought I was taken aback by his mentioning of the 'Hummus Fic', whatever the hell that is.

On the ride home, we jammed out to 1D songs off of Troye's Playlist, ( ever since he came out, there's been so many things that made me question why I ever thought he was straight ), and Troye's voice was so obviously better than mine when it came to singing. Of course, I knew that, but every time my voice cracked, we both started dying.

"Shut up, Sivan, not all of us can be as perfect as you!" I yell at him.

He looks like he's trying not to show how surprised he is, but his eyebrows practically fly into his hairline. He scoffs slightly, and replies,"I'm not perfect, Tilly. Trust me."

He sounds so bitter that it takes all of my concentration to focus on the road and not him. "What the fuck are you even talking about, Troye? Everything about you just screams 'perfection!' You're not seriously telling me that you don't see it?"

He shrugs. "Just thinking practically, is all. Nobody's perfect, Ty. It doesn't mean they should change anything about themselves, but everything that exists is flawed to some degree. The sooner you learn that, the better."

Now we pause at a stoplight, and I look over at Troye. Absolutely nothing on his face shows sadness, but resolution. It makes me sad that he's the kind of person that stopped being naive in any way so early in life. "Troye, is everything alright?" I ask gently.

He scrunches up his eyebrows, and looks genuinely confused by my question. "Of course, Tilly, why wouldn't I be?" He asks incredulously.

Honestly, I suspect he's trying to cover it up, but I don't want to start anything since Zoë's was just around the corner, so I let it go.

Five minutes later, we're on Zoë's porch with his bags, and use Zoë's spare key to let us in.

"Hey, guys!" Troye calls out. I expect Connor and Zoë to be collabing still, but I hear light pounding on the floor and see Zoë come racing in the room screaming,"TROYE SIVAN MELLET GET OVER HERE!" while engulfing him in a hug. He returns it warmly, and then Connor comes in much more slowly then Zoë and greets Troye with a hug. I note with slight amusement that Connor's shorter than Troye. So at least I'm not the only one.

Zoë says,"Hey, so I was talking to Connor while you guys were gone, and we thought it would be a cool idea to have a little tour of Brighton around the pier area. Do you Gus want to join?"

"Sounds great," I tell her. Troye nods with me, while taking his bags into Zoë's spare room that we're sharing. Connor opted for the couch as soon as we got here, which surprised me, but I wasn't going to object to sharing a room with Troye.

I followed Troye into the room we were sharing while Connor and Zoë discussed editing things for their videos, and saw Troye sorting through his boxers to put in the drawer. I cleared my throat to alert him of my presence, and he swiveled around to face me. He looked between his underwear and my face while gritting his teeth in determination to not show what he was feeling. I would bet anything right there that he'd be blushing if wasn't such a good actor.

"So, you're a boxers kind of guy, then?" I ask awkwardly, trying and failing to diffuse the tension in the room. Troye's ears became tinged with red, but otherwise his expression remained unchanged. He shrugged, mumbling a simple,"I guess," before turning away to go through his other clothes.

"So, what'd you guys do before you came to get me?" Troye asks as if nothing strange occurred in the last few moments. Either he was completely unfazed or thrown so off guard that he doesn't know how to respond to what just happened. Probably the first one, since it's just underwear. It's not like I found lube or condoms in his bags.

"Uh, we kind of just situated ourselves, since we didn't really want to start anything before you got here. Besides, it was super windy earlier, so we could barely go outside without our cheeks being blown off our faces." I commented, remembering how harsh the 'breezes', as Zoë referred to them, were earlier.

He nodded, letting me know he heard, and finished putting his clothes in the drawers. He patted his hands together, clapping the dust off his hands since Zoë's drawers were dusty from lack of use. He smiled at me, but it wasn't a full smile. I noticed lately that he rarely shows his teeth while grinning, which was weird because he was very nice teeth-

Wow, I sound like a homicidal lunatic now. Dear God I need help.

"Smile with your teeth, it's cute," I tell him, patting him between his shoulders. He loos a little sheepish when he complies to me request, looking down once his teeth part, so I nudge him with my shoulder, whispering,"See, so much cuter!" He blinks like a slow, dumb animal, making me cackle my 'witch laugh'.

"Come on, let's go explore Brighton," Troye says, with an embarrassed undertone laced with his words. He head out to the porch with Zoë and Connor, and head out.