Our Tears

[M] Not In Love

Author : fluffy_sumthing
Original publish on : livejournal | 2014

Author note : Okay, wow, this got way out of hand. Not my usual oops-fifty-three-chapters-just-happened-out-of-hand, but still, this did kind of turn out as one long ass deepgoing biographical study of the TeukChul. Whatever. 

Also, I'm deeply sorry to Hyukkie for bullying him like this, pushing all the TeukChul intimacy in his face. Poor baby boy.
Well then, happy Teukie-return and joyous 7th jib times to all. I really do hope u enjoyed this.

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At first, Heechul does not like Jungsu in particular.

Park Jungsu is a prestigious example of one of those people that annoy Kim Heechul to no end. He is overly chatty, overly bright and just unnervingly overbearing, not to mention, completely unable to mind his own business. Furthermore, he has the extremely uncanny habits of smiling all the fucking time and always, everywhere, at every given opportunity trying to relieve the mood or cheering everybody and their mother up whether they're in need of it or not (of which the latter is much more common.) 

He is a flailing, blabbering, clumsy (in most senses of the word) and utterly dumbfounded mess, and he is just generally all over the place - meaning, in Heechul's personal space, way to fucking often. And when Park Jungsu is chosen to be the Leader of the team, Kim Heechul cannot decide whether to be grimly amused or just further annoyed. Realizing mere days differ the two of them in age, however, he muses, better that one than himself. He himself would never ever be bothered with the trouble of looking after that overly large pack of idiotic, whining brats.

Time goes by, the life-altering, fatally nerve-racking day of their Debut comes and passes, followed by a time that is nothing but a long-drawn, stressfull, exhausting and thrilling roller-coaster-ride until the momentum turns, and they slowly start to acknowledge the fact that this is their very real, new life; and Heechul does not change his feelings towards the Leader of the team, yet he suddenly one late night finds himself shooing the chattering, whining, clinging pack away from the visibly exhausted man. 

He fends them off, one by one, guiding, shooing, half-threatening-half-persuading or plainly tackling them away and into bed or into the bathroom or wherever they wont be a general nuisance anymore, until silence lays over the dorm and Jungsu gives him an utterly grateful look accompanied with a tired shade of his usually shiningly bright, dimpled smile. Heechul only mutters in reply and disappears back into his own room, feeling as annoyed by himself as much as the younger ones as he finally realizes what he just did.

A threatening Kim Heechul is much more intimidating than the angel-faced Park Jungsu and the members are careful with their pushiness for a while, but sooner or later their trivial complains, worries, dilemmas and internal conflicts of he took my this and that and please tell him to stop doing that and why does he get to do that when I don't overcome their fear and they again turn to crowd their gentle and cajoling Leader and sooner or later Heechul's annoyance over their relentless whining returns and he gets rid of them, and for a while again, they stay put. And it becomes a repeated circle of behavior while time passes. 

Sometimes Heechul chooses to turn his back on the colorfully livid theater that every once in a while occurs in the dorm, and he leaves or locks his door and listens to very loud music to escape the chatter, and eventually it passes, but only after hours and hours of cooing and cajoling, of discussions and occasional loud-voiced fights that more than often end with either Donghae or Hyukjae crying, which annoys Heechul even more than the foregoing uproar, and that annoyance most often drives him to make short process of the situation next time the mood in the dorm threatens to stir up and he cuts it all off before it can really start.

He wont admit or even acknowledge the fact that the thing that makes him step in between and save the Leader is less often his annoyance and more and more often sheer sympathy and compassion, yes, something one might actually call affection. He wont admit or acknowledge that that dimpled, silly smile slowly, slowly grows on him.

Still, Heechul does not like Jungsu in particular.

And even though his bubbly, flailing, overbearingly cheerful self most of the time causes him annoyance, he one day finds himself missing the older. They have incredulously been separated for a number of days and he realizes there's a surging kind of sensation spreading in his guts, a sensation he has never experienced before and it doesn't disappear until the Leader is back in his near again.