Our Tears

[TW] From here to eternity

Author : veltana
Original publish on : livejournal | 2011

Author note : I was just gonna finish this drabble I had started a long while ago but then it just went on and I don't know what this is anymore and if I'm gonna continue it... xD

________________________________________________

There was blood, and it looked to be a lot. Truth is that it was not that much but as it spread out into the water it looked to be more.
Heechul found himself chuckle at the sight and his thoughts when to whoever would be so unlucky to clean the bathtub later. Or maybe they would just throw it away.
Because honestly, who would want to bathe in the same tub as someone had died in? At least he knew he wouldn't.

He had always thought that when he was about to die, he would acknowledge God so that he would be sure he was going to heaven. But that was not the case in his state now as the warm water got colder. Or was he getting colder? He couldn't feel the difference.

No there was no God. Because if there was a God, he would have seen the true love that Heechul felt. It was pure and untainted and he didn't know for what reasons he had deserved this fate.

And that was another thing, fate. He was so sure when he entwined his fingers in the golden locks that This is fate. He couldn't describe it in any other way that it felt meant to be.

He slipped lower into the water and it was up to his chin. He thought about tasting it, but then immediately recoiled at the thought. He didn't want the autopsy to show that right before time of death he had consumed his own blood. That would make him a freak and he didn't want that false accusation to smother his name.

It was amazing, he thought, that this feeling right now was the total opposite of what he had felt for over five years. It was amazing how much life could hurt.

But it was a different kind of hurt he had felt when he got that call. The one telling him that Leeteuk hadn't shown up for work. The one that told him he was missing. And after days of searching the call when they told him they had found him. Dead.

No one knew what had happened and no one knew who to blame. Heechul blamed all.

He had looked so peaceful in his coffin, face pale and calm, just like he looked when he was sleeping. And he stood there and shook people's hands and thanked them for coming. They said they knew how he felt and that they were there if he wanted someone to lean on. There had been one person in Heechul whole life that he had leaned on, and that person was now gone.

He knew he was not going to heaven, and he didn't care. He just wanted to be wherever Leeteuk was. He just wanted to feel his warm embrace and hear his voice and he just wanted to be with him again. But then again, Leeteuk was an angel on earth; he would probably be in heaven. And if there was one thing Heechul knew, it was that he was not going to heaven.

Tears started to slip down his cheeks but he didn't even notice. He was going totally numb and when he tried to move his fingers, he noticed weakly that he couldn't. It's like they weren't even there.
He wanted to lift his arm and have a look but there was not strength in his arms either.

The pain was almost unbearable as life started to slip out of the man in the tub, but it was physical and nothing compared to how much once heart could hurt when the person you had given it too dropped it and disappeared.

Suddenly there was a sound at the door and it startled him. Someone let out a heavy sigh and came closer, but Heechul heard no footsteps nor could he see who it was since the damn light was so bright. "Chullie, Chullie, Chullie" the voice said and as the light died down a little Heechul could make out golden hair that swung from one side to another as if the owner was shaking his head. "This is even more stupid then the time when you thought you would be nice and make dinner for me"
And something jumped inside Heechul because only one person knew about that. He didn't think about telling him about how much he had missed him, neither ask what happened or if Leeteuk had looked down on him throughout the years.
The younger of the pair just chuckled a little and shrugged his shoulders "You do stupid things when you're in love"
The light around the other was completely gone now and Leeteuk sat down at the edge of the tub. He didn't look a day older from the last time Heechul had seen him. And he probably had wrinkles on his face by now. Typical.
"Are you gonna sit in there all day or do you wanna go?"
"You here to pick me up?"
"Yeah, management thought that that would probably be the best idea since I'm the reason you killed yourself. Stupid kid" Leeteuk muttered the lat part.

Heechul stood up and looked down at the body still in the water. His head had lolled to the side and he looked just as peaceful as Leeteuk had done in his coffin. The water didn't drip of him as he got out but he was still naked. There was another sigh from Leeteuk but this time it had a more liking to it "I missed that sight" then he reached forward and grabbed Heechul's hand. Heechul pondered a minute about what Leeteuk had said about some management, they had that in heaven? "Where are we going?" he found himself asking as Leeteuk took out something that looked like an old pocket watch and winded it up with his teeth since he was still holding Heechul's hand. When he was done the light started to appear again and the last thing Leeteuk said before they left the bathroom with Heechul's body in was "Home of course"