blood, sweat and TEARS

Nineteen

JK (POV)

I'm holding Tae's hand as I watch the clock. I have to leave soon, I know that, I cant be late. But that means leaving him alone for the first time. He's stable he will be fine. I know that I know. But everytime I'm away from him i picture his still body, red coating the pitch black road. "You have to be there, Kookie, dont make me have to come all the way back here to get you." Those were Joons last words to him when he left this morning. He wanted him to come, begged him to come back to the hotel, to get ready for the meeting.

Someone clears their throat at the door, and I turn to Jimin as he walks in. He's smiling at me, always, he doesn't know how much I don't deserve it. He walks to the other side of Tae and places a gentle kiss to his cheek.

He grabs my hand, I quickly pull away from him, I see his smile quiver, but he hides it well.  "I was hoping to catch you in your way to the studio, it's a good thing I decided to come check on you." He brushes his hand through his hair, and I bite back my desire to let my hand follow his.
" I was just about to leave." I say standing up and walking toward the door. My hear shutters when he grabs my arm. "Great we can walk together." I nod, pulling my arm out of his grasp.

We walk in near silence. I'm grateful for the many summer sounds of L.A, making me feel somewhat less empty. "What do you think they are going to say?" Jimin asks,I can only get myself to shrug. "I hope they send us home, I think it would be best for Tae to be back in Korea, don't you think."

"Sure." The rest of the walk is coated in tension filled silence.
........

JIMIN (POV)

I can't even focus on what the staff is saying, I'm to focused on Jungkook. I have been trying to catch his gaze since the moment that we got here. He was so cold on out way here. At first I thought that he was just coping with what happend to Tae, I can understand that, we all can, but the way he wont even look at me, the way he flinches, whenever I touch him. He's upset with me and I don't have any idea why, I need to talk to him, if he would just come back to the hotel.

I'm so consumed in my thoughts, falling down a rabbit hole of ideas to get through to him. When my consciousness catches on to the conversation happening around me. " we want you to keep preforming, we will add more shows around here, we wont have you far from him." My mind pauses its Jungkook strategy.

"What do you mean keep preforming?" I ask, everyone's attention turns to me, I've been so quite they must be shocked at my voice suddenly joining the conversation.

"Its simple, you will keep performing as if nothing is wrong, we think it best we don't let the fans catch on to what's happening, the last thing that we need is a fan mob outside of the hospital."

My heart is speeding, "we can't preform without Tae."

"You've done it before." The same women answers.

"That's a bit different isn't it, he wasn't lying in the hospital fighting for his life!" Before I know what I'm doing I'm out of my chair. "We can't pretend that everything is okay, it's not okay!" I'm practically screaming.

"Jimin, it's okay, calm down." I let Jin circle around me.

"We can't pretend that everything is fine, our fans would see through it." Joon states, calmly.

"You can and you will."

"Can you at least arrange to have Tae flown home? To be with his family?" Yoongi asks, my heart pangs I don't want Tae to be in a hospital so far from us, but it might be better, If we are preforming still we wont have a lot of time to be with him.

"His doctors are here, and he is being taken good care of, we see no need to move him." I feel my tears fall as I cling to Jin.

"When do we have to perform again." Joon sounds upset, but he's not fighting, and If he isn't fighting he must know it is pointless.

"We understand, you wont have to preform tell next week, take this time to relax and collect yourselfs." She says it as if she is doing us a kindness, like she isn't forcing us to preform as if a part of us wasn't missing.

"Thank you." Joon says giving her a brife nod. Before leaving the room. We all follow behind him non of us reciprocating his show of respect.

.........

I walk into the hotel room, and I am startled and relieved to see Kookie there. He hears me enter, and turns to me. "Hey, its good to see you here, it's been lonely without you." I can hear the smile in my voice. I notice the lack of smile on his face. That's when I notice his suite case on the bed.
"Jimin, can we talk?"

"Of course, what's going on?" I sit down on my bed facing him.

" I talked to Joon, and I'm um going to go and stay in Hobi's room." My heart clenches, eyes stinging.

"What? B-ut why?" I hear the quiver in my voice. "Did I do something? Are you mad at me? We can talk through this, I- I can't lose you."

His eyes stay focused on the floor, as he turns closing his suit case. " I, just don't feel comfortable here Jimin." With that he leaves, I hear the door click. I fall to my bed.

I think that Jin came by to get me for dinner, but the thought of seeing Jungkook at the table, so much happier, more comfortable without me. So I lay there letting the silence and loneliness slowly eat me away, piece by piece.