blood, sweat and TEARS

Thirty-four

Jimin (POV)

Tae jumped on me the moment my eyes opened. I don't understand. This can't be real I feel tears slide out of my closed eyes, as I clench my best friend as close to me as possible. His natural smell muted by days in the hospital, but still cleaning to his body.

"Am... I dead?" I say into his neck. I feel his warmth begin to depart from me, but I hold tighter, not letting him more then an inch away. I don't know if I will ever let him out of my grasp again. "Jimin," he says next to my head on the pillow. "You have to let me up or I'll be suffocated by your pillow."

"You can't suffocate because we are already dead." I replay not loosening my grip. "Jimin you fool, I'm not dead and neather are you." Reluctantly I release him.

When he backs up from me I see the exhaustion on his face, but it is a face that is filled with life, and once again u begin to cry. "I don't understand, I thought you were dead." He cups my face. "Well I'm not, you guys would be lost with out me." He puts on his cheesiest smile, and lifts his hands to his chin in a a flower pose.

"What happend?" He crawls across the bed. To sit next to me. "Let me tell you." He is about to begin, but I stop him one more time. "Shouldn't you i don't know tell someone I'm not dead?" He rolls his eyes. "I will after, your fine aren't you?" I shrug, I'm so happy to hear him speak again I don't care about anything else.

.........

He tells me everything, he tells me how he jumped in front of the car. How he saved Kook. My heart melts at his heroism, and I am so grateful to have both of their hearts still beating. He tells me that his life is a miracle, that no one knows how he pulled through, but he is so grateful that he did. And he tells me about Kook, how he felt like all of this was his fault. That he has been trying to push me away. I didn't know what Kook meant when he said that Tae was his fault, but my heart shatters to think he as going through all of this alone.

When he finishes he kisses my cheek and is off to tell the others, and hopefully a doctor that I am awake.

.........

JK (POV)

Jimin awake is probably the most beautiful sight in the world. I took it for granted his smile, the way his eyes disappear when he is happy. This day I thought was going to be the hardest of my life, has turned into the best. So much of the weight I have been carrying through this month, through my life has been lifted today, and I can't wait for a moment alone with Jimin, so I can free myself from my final secret.

We aren't doing much just sitting around Jimin, laughing with him, as he eats a bowl of green jello. Jin keeps trying to still a square, but Joon keeps slapping his hand away. Suga and Hobi are fast asleep leaning on each other.

The door creaks open and we turn to see, Jimins doctor with a doctor who we haven't seen before. "Could I have a moment alone with you Jimin?" The new, women doctor asks.

"Of course." He says kindly with a bit of hesitation through it. We all stand to leave them. I walk over to Yoongi and Hobi and shake them away. Joon squeezes Jimins shoulder and begins to stand. Quickly Jimin grabs his hand, "could he stay with me?" Joon and Jimin look to the doctor. "Of course, if that would make you feel more comfortable." Jimin nods and Joon sits back down, letting Jimin grip his hand.

I try and fight the jealousy running through me. I wish he had asked me to stay. I wonder why he didn't, I try and shake it off this isn't about me, this isn't about me. I keep repeating to myself. Now that we have two rooms we are rarely in the sitting room. We are all lounging around Tae's room.

"Do you think he Is okay?" Hobi asks from his seat on the bed. "Of course he is okay, they are probably just going over everything that happened." Yoongi replies. He is probably right, I know that, but I can't help the fear.

We sit there for over an hour, at one point Tae comes over and sits next to me gripping my hand in his. It's when it feels like it will never end when Joon opens up the door. He has a smile plastered to his face, it doesn't seem perfectly genuine, but it relaxes me a little all the same. "Everything is fine, I'll let Jimin explain everything when he wants, but first Kook he wants to see you."

..............

Jimin (POV)

I choose not to be embarrassed by this. Its something I've known about myself for a long time. I just haven't had the time to take care of it, I need to start taking care of it. So I choose not to be embarrassed about this. I can keep hiding from it say I've just been to stressed to eat, to tired, not hungry. Those are lies, ones I tell myself, but lies all the same. I need help, an-and that's okay. I tell myself this over and over again. I might not believe it right now, but I know, somewhere inside I know its true.

I.... need help.... and that's.... okay.

...........

When the door opens I stop the chant I have been rolling around in my head. I replace the tears with smiles. "Kook, come in." He looks nervous, I know he is. Our last private interaction wasn't the best. "How are you?" I ask as he walks closer to my bed. This triggers a smile, "you're asking how I am? You just woke up from a coma, and your asking how I am?"

"We've all been through a lot Kook." I squeezes his shoulder. He won't meet my eyes. "Kook?"

"Jimin I'm so sorry, this is all my fault." I lift his chin with my hand and wipe of the tears trailing from his eyes. "Kook I know everything, and none of this, especially what happened to Tae, and what happend to me, they are not your fault." He falls into my shoulder and I let him cry there aw I stroke his back. Eventually, he moves back from me just an inch, his lips are so close to mine I'm inhaling his exhales. He is the one who presses his lips to mine. It's light and sweet and his hand on the back or my neck is gentle. Reluctantly, I pull away from him.

He looks at me questioning. I takes all of my strength not to pull him back into me. "We can't do this Kook." His eyes go from confused to shocked. He backs farther from me. "But, Jimin you don't understand. I love you." I feel the tears begin to trickle the sides of my eyes. I feel myself smile at his confession even though this is the most painful moment of my life. "I love you to Kook, but this can't happen."

"Y-you cant forgive me, can you." He stands up quickly. "Don't you see Kook I could forgive you anything, and I forgive you everything." He comes back and sits at the edge of my bed. "I don't understand?"

"Everything you said to me, Kook after Tae was hurt, those things broke me. It didn't matter though because I loved and do love you more then anything in this world, you were forgiven, before you ever said those words to me Kook."

Hes still looking at me confused, and I take his hand. "I think it's time to start loving myself more then anything in the world." He looks at me, and for the first time I can see how much he loves me. "I understand." He pulls me into a hug. "I'm here for you Jimin anyway you need me." I hold him tight. "Kook," he backs away from me. "I think I need a minute to rest." He nods his head kisses me on the forehead. And then I watch the man I love walk out the door, and I let myself cry.

.............

JK (POV)

I sit at the foot of Jimins door. I feel numb. I want to cry, but I know that when I start I won't be able to stop. The worst part is that it worked. I definitely made him not want to be with me. I take a deep breath at least he hasn't written me off completely. I let my head fall back on to the hard wood. This can't be the end of it Jimin, it wont be the end.

.............

A/N

Hey! Thanks for reading! Hope this chapter wasn't a disappointment! I want to thank everyone who's has read up to here and commented and liked. Happy Thanksgiving to all who celebrate and happy Thursady to those who don't! 😚