The Weird Existence of Henry

ch. 25

u n b e l i e v a b l e

I never had a boyfriend, but that doesn't mean that my heart never loved someone so bad, it hurt. Gusto kong sabihin na choice kong 'di magboyfriend. Pero ang totoo, choice nila. Choice nilang hindi ako piliin. I mean who would actually choose me to be their girlfriend? Wesley? The guy's a freaking basketball god! Why would he choose someone who doesn't even like basketball?

Ewan ko ba, kung ba't ko yun nagustuhan. Maybe because I fell in love with the idea of him, and the probability of us. I fell in love with this fantasy in my head that how great things could've been if we're together. I mean most of our friends are a couple, so why can't we be together right? So I was blinded with the idea of us and failed to see Wesley for who he really is.

Kaya nung sinabi ni Izzy na may gusto sakin si Henry, hindi agad ako naniwala. I mean, we're too different! He's this artistic photographer genius and I'm...I'm just Gwen, who couldn't even fix her own life for crying out loud! Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit nasabi niya yun. But here's what I know for sure, life without Henry is incredibly boring.

Few months ago, I barely knew the guy and now, I can't even imagine going to lunch without him. Nakaka-miss lang yung mga ginagawa namin noon na hindi namin magawa ngayon. I miss when he walks me to class, when he cracks jokes whenever I'm getting things from my locker, I miss everything. I miss him, but I definitely miss his company.

'Cause even if the whole school thought that he was my boyfriend, truth is, he was more than that. He's my friend. He was my friend. And we couldn't be that anymore? I don't know. Kailangan ko ng gumising sa ilusyon ko, mamulat sa reyalidad na ganito naman talaga ang buhay ko, before and after him. I was always alone.

Kaya nang mag lunchbreak, I immediately went as far as I could from the Cafeteria, away from my old friends, away from Wesley and away from Henry. Dinala nalang ako ng aking mga paa sa benches ng soccerfield. Tanaw rito ang buong school. Kahit tirik na tirik ang araw, hindi gaanong mainit dito sa bleachers dahil maraming matatayog na puno ang nakapalibot sa whole field. Walang tao rito ngayon kaya nakakabingi ang katahimikan.

Napabuntong-hininga nalang ako. May naalala kasi ako. Dito kami unang nagkakilala ni Henry. Dito kami unang nagkausap na kaming dalawa lang, dito sa schoolgrounds, dito sa soccefield. Ganito rin to noon, walang tao at tahimik. 
Halos mapatalon akong nang biglang may nagsalita.

"You know the last time we were here, I thought my girlfriend is crazy," hindi ko na kailangan pang lumingon para malaman kung sino ang biglang dumating. Kilalang-kilala ko ang boses niya.

Natawa naman agad ako nang maalala ang nangyari noon. Oh I was so stupid! Halos masiraan na ako ng bait noon kasi akala ko nananaginip lang ako!

"I miss you Gwen," ang sabi niya nang maupo siya sa tabi ko. "Why did you break up with me again?"

"Kasi hindi na tama. Hindi na tama na pinagloloko natin ang mga tao sa paligid natin. Hindi na tama na niloloko natin pati ang mga sarili natin," sagot ko naman sa kaniya.

Hindi ko kayang tingnan siya kaya diretso lang ang tingin ko sa field. Pakiramdam ko kapag makita ko ang mukha niya, mas lalo lang magiging mahirap 'to para sa amin, para sakin.

"Then let's make it real," halos hindi ako makapaniwala sa tinuran niya. "Come on, let's just date."

"Ha? Okay ka lang?" takang tanong ko sa kaniya. "Henry, do you seriously want us to date because you want to cover up our lies? Nasisiraan ka na ba?!!"

"No, I want us to date because I like you and I want to be with you. And I'm not ready to let you go," diretsong sagot niya.

Hindi man lang siya nautal sa sinabi niya. Dahan-dahan akong tumayo at tiningnan siya. He was looking away, hands inside his pockets. He was mumbling something but I couldn't hear anything. Paulit-ulit kong naririnig sa aking isipan ang mga salita niya.

"What did you say?" gulat na tanong ko.

"I said I like you. There I said it," tumayo naman agad siya at tiningnan ako diretso sa mga mata. His stare was so intense I couldn't take it. So I looked away. Nanginginig ang tuhod ko sa sobrang kaba. Hindi ko alam kung anong nararamdaman ko, takot, pangamba, kaba? Ewan!

"Henry, that's impossible. I mean look at you. We're too different okay? We're not even in the same social radar! You used to rule this school, and you still do. We're not wired to be together! Masyado tayong malayo sa isa't-isa," paliwanag ko naman, hindi makapaniwala sa mga sinasabi niya ngayon.

"Yes we're different, but so what? Aren't we all? At ano naman kung magkaiba tayo ng mundo? All I know is I like hanging out with you, I like being around you, I like you Gwen Mhargarette Hernandez! Isn't that enough?" sagot naman niya.

"I'm sorry Henry. I just...I just can't," agad akong tumakbo at iniwan siyang mag-isa sa lugar na kung saan nagsimula at nagtapos ang lahat.

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This is Patch saying Yes to Happy Reading and Happy life ❤