You said you hated tattoos
Now I have two
You requested I cut my hair so it would be "neater" and "more presentable"
I now have unruly curls that stretch to the bottom of my back
You told me I needed to lose weight
And that is the one thing I actually did
I lost the weight that you put on my shoulders
The weight that constantly made me feel unworthy of your approval
Because now, it's the last thing I want
What I want now is for you to look at me and hate what you see
Be the epitome of all the things that disgust you
The long hair, the gauges in my ears, my short, bitten fingernails
I hope you never look at me and think of coming back
I want to continue to gather all the things you seemed to be scared for me to have
A smile, a sense of self worth, an unending love for myself
Did you know that "love" isn't crying every night, trying to figure out what you did wrong?
Because I didn't until you walked away
And I know that you thought you won
All those tears I shed when you left that you gathered and wore like a medal
But what you dont know is those tears were my crashing wave of relief
So I hope
I really, really hope
That you hate what you see
YOU ARE READING
consumed
Poetry|3rd place poetry in The Butterfly Awards 2019 🦋| There are times in life where you become consumed by thoughts of many things. Instead of letting them overtake you, express them.
