A little hope in the darkest times

This is all I need

"Three, two, one... Go!", Jacob shouted and Queenie concentrated as hard as she could.
They had been training a little every day, and with every day it got more and more but she didn't make any progress.
She couldn't do it anymore, no matter how hard she tried and that was driving her insane.

"Can we take a break for a moment? I'm so exhausted", she said.

Jacob nodded, but she just kept talking.

"It's not gonna get better, right? I'm just gonna be frustrated all my life and you're gonna sit here and... Jacob, I am so sorry."

"Sweetheart, don't be sorry for anything.."

"I am so broken and so lost and... I just made a terrible mistake and I am so so sorry... I know I can't erase it."

"Honey, please... Listen to me, please."

"I know, I should not have hope that you forgive me, I know you can barely stand me after all I've done, after I left you and I shouldn't have done that, I kow, I will never be able to forgive myself.."

"Queenie, you don't get it."

"What? Is this some kind of no-maj thing I should know about? Sorry"

"No, you don't get this. You don't get that helping you get your skills back is the least I can do to make you heal, you need time to heal."

"See, I'm broken, I'm worthless..", she blurted out, but Jacob immediately interrupted her.

"You are not worthless. You still don't get it, do you? I would tear this world apart and, Queens, god, I would die for you and it still would be what you deserve. That sounds crazy, I know, but... I am in love with you, Queenie Goldstein, and that makes me crazy but it is a good kind of crazy. "

For a second, Queenie was speechless. The last few weeks, she had been so soaked up in self pity and swallowed in self hate that this was too much for her. Jacob was just too pure for this world, too good for her. And she would tell him that, it felt like a good idea then.

"I don't deserve you. You're an angel"

"When you've been in hell for too long, everyone who is remotely nice to you seems like an angel. I love you and that's enough."

She smiled at him, but she did not believe him. Most humans lied whenever they got the chance and that was the reason why she had been so grateful to be able to read thoughts. He could be lying her just to make her feel better. That was just the way Jacob was, he was too nice to be real and it scared her that she could have lost him.

But most of all, it scared her that it was her own fault, that she had hurt him, the one she loved more than anyone else. And she really was not able to forgive herself for that. Because in the time at Grindelwald's side, while being able to read his thoughts or at least trying to do so, she had realized that she needed Jacob to be happy. And even if that meant him being without her.

He should not be repressed, not be a slave to the greater good. He never chose this world, this world chose him.

But there was nothing more precious she had than this love, and this man, who she was entirely grateful to have.

Because she was fixing everybody and there rarely was somebody who wanted to fix her and comfort her, when she felt down. Tina had been there, of course, and Queenie would have to talk to her too, but Jacob...

Jacob did not grow up with her and he had never depended on her like Tina and Queenie had once depended on each other as orphans. Jacob just turned up out of the blue and did what no one else ever did before.

Queenie had gotten used to it, to picking herself up the floor and maybe Jacob was right. If she had not been so lonely, she would not have mistaken good for evil, just because someone was nice to her.

And she was thinking of Vinda Rosier, of Grindelwald's sweet words, all of this that had been fake.

"I love you so much, Jacob, and....", her voice was trembling, she knew she had to say it, or otherwise she would break down. This was enough, this love was enough.

"I don't need you to marry me to prove that. This is all I ever wanted and... I just love you."

For a few seconds, Jacob seemed speechless, but after he had gotten over the shock, he pulled her into a kiss.