Beautifully Broken

18

"Can I please take a shower? Is that allowed? I mean I'm on the last days of my period and I need to clean up throughly." I asked with a hint of irritation attached to my tone as I looked at the nurse who gave me nothing but an attitude from the moment I walked into my old room.

She sucked her teeth in and she wrote on a clipboard before she eyed me, "hurry up!" She pointed for me to grab my belongs which I did and she went walking down the hall towards the shower room.

I walked quickly behind her, my towel folded pressed to my chest and my eyes on my feet, I could hear the whispers and snickers from some
Of the other girls who where in the hall.

Don't pay mind to it Evie.
Your better than this, remember.
The long term goal is to leave here.

When I got to the shower room, I quickly slipped on my shower shoes and got undressed, turning the shower on and engulfing in the rush of heat of the water. I let out a huge moan and I allowed it to sheet over me like a blanket.

Once the heat became normal like to me, I held my self in my own arms and I began to sob hard but as quietly as I could, so that the nurse did not hear me.

Every emotion that I am accustomed to hiding or keeping inside released from my tears, as my body did hard shakes and shivers.

I wished I had my mother to cry in her arms to, and feel her brushing my hair back as she whispered that everything would be alright.

This is all temporary baby, our feelings and actions are all temporary setbacks when we let them overpower us.

I could still feel her warm embrace and I could hear her in my head, he soothing calming motherly voice that always took me out of my dark spots.

For a few moments I was lost in a daze, slowly moving from side to side holding myself, giving myself the comfort I needed.

"Hurry up in there!" I heard the bitter nurse shouting, startling me.

I quickly washed my body and hair and came out of the shower and quickly got dressed, my hair was a dripping mess.

"Thanks." I muttered to her as I walked down the hall back into my room.

When I got to my room, something felt odd about it. I closed my door and I sat on my bed in silent trying to figure out what I could or should be doing.

I saw a small folded paper at the corner under my pillow.

I grabbed the tiny paper and quickly unfolded it.

Sweet Evie.

I'm glad your back, I'm sorry that I keep missing you or maybe your avoiding me- which I hope not. But if anything I just want to say I'm glad your out of that hellhole and in the more populated hellhole. I'll see you soon beautiful, just gotta keep our distance to get the eyes off of us. But in the meantime, I got you a little gift it's not much but I hope you like it. Check under middle pillow.

- Ur Miles

I read the letter over a few times before I stopped myself from allowing anymore tears to come out. I turned to my pillows and I lifted the middle one, and I was greeted with a small origami bird in my favorite color orange.

I started to laugh to myself and I felt this rush of just blissful joy come over me and I held it to my chest tightly with this huge grin on my face as I laid on my bed looking to the wall and envisioning me outside in a lush full grass surrounded by white and yellow daisies.

My Miles.