Beautifully Broken

5

Todays therapy session went pretty regular.

I smiled at all the appropriate times and nodded.

I said everything he needed me to say and I made sure to sound as convincing as possible.

We never spoke about my real problems, or the dreams coming back as well as the voices.

I kept everything in wraps and I smiled never baring my true emotions.

Its something I was always good at doing.

He never bothered to question it or maybe he didn't care and I was okay with that.

I was almost at the home front and getting the hell out of here finally.

My demons weren't holding me captive again, at least this time I would put up a fight.

But the truth was in fact terrified of being in the outside world alone.

I was alone, now and that was my biggest fear honestly.

Alone.

Once I was done with the session I was now heading to the day room and I was half wanting to go back to my room and sleep but that wasn't allowed unless we were sick and on bed rest with a note from the nurse.

So I walked to the day room and instantly I was greeted by Mars and he gaggle of girlfriends.

"How'd it go in there? Are you cleared to leave us? Oh my god, I'm a miss you." Mars babbled on and I was barely able to keep up with all the high energy she was giving me.

"I don't know yet. But I hope so." I smiled trying to walk away from the conversation and go to the back and read my book in peace.

The room was in full chaotic mode with a few new girls and the old regulars beefing silently and then the few boys that were here and trying to size up the fresh meat.

Then there's Miles in the corner with his beautiful blues peering at me with his arms folded across his chest and his hair is pulled back and he has that smug grin on his face.

All the newbies were infatuated with Miles, and Miles had his eyes pierced on me?

I swallowed the small lump in my throat as I gave him the middle finger and turning to head back to the corner of the dayroom with my book pressed to my chest.

Once I got to the big comfy bean bag I plopped down and began reading my book, One Small Thing instantly getting lost in the world of Beth.

I loved to read books as far back as I can remember, it was my first friend when I was younger and my only friend as I got older. Books were my sweetest escape and at times my only escape. But there was a time when books became my nightmare, because when the alternate universe became my consumption and I wanted more and I couldn't I began to lash out in my own world and that's when the trouble started for me.

But here I am, back with the one constant in my life. Books.

As I was in my own world or words, I felt Miles presences before I saw him gawking me again from the game table.

I narrowed my eyebrows and I grew tight lipped as I returned the stares, he smiled and he winked at me as he kept looking at me.

One of the newbies came to sit across from him and asked if she could play checkers with him.

He faced her and gave her that devilish smile before he told her to get lost.

She easily became red to the face and she went running to her friends and they all laughed at her.