it's only love - mclennon

In My Life

Paul fell asleep and was immediately in a white room with smooth walls and bright lights. He realized he was in an operating room watching himself get surgery and he felt like he was going to throw up. The doctors were only just starting to make an incision into Paul's chest, around where the bullet had entered into his lung.

Paul wondered where John was and whether or not he was ok, before remembering that it was a dream and none of it really existed, so John only was shot in his dreams, when he was literally in the dream and was shot. He didn't exist as a functioning being, because it was Paul's dream - not real life.

The surgeons were now removing the bullet from his lung and inspecting the damage done to the major organ, and treating it. He had to have a tube put into his lung because it had collapsed when he was shot.

-=+=-

Paul woke up feeling nauseous - Watching someone cut him open hadn't exactly been on his bucket list. He ran to the bathroom and threw up. John ran in and kneeled next to him a minute later when he heard Paul throwing up. John rubbed Paul's back softly and comforted him, until Paul was done.

"Are you sick?" John asked softly, concerned.

"No, no I'm fine," Paul responded. He didn't want to explain the dream, because John would make a big deal out of it, and then Paul would have to explain all the other dreams, and John would freak out and ask him why Paul hadn't told him before. Paul didn't know why he hadn't told John before - he just didn't tell him after the first couple, and then it just seemed pointless. Paul wasn't being affected at all by the dreams before this incident, so they didn't seem like a big enough deal.

"Do you know why you threw up?" John asked, still speaking softly.

Paul shrugged "I dunno, must have eaten something yesterday," Paul lied.

———

Paul had just showered and returned from the bathroom to see John strumming quietly and singing under his breath, and every so often, turning to his notepad on the bed next to him and writing something down. Paul sat next to John on the bed and grabbed the notepad, looking it over quickly and smiling "play it for me?" he asked, looking at John.

John just smiled and started over, playing and singing more loud and clean notes this time.

There are places I'll remember
All my life, though some have changed
Some forever, not for better
Some have gone, and some remain
All these places had their moments
With lovers and friends, I still can recall
Some are dead, and some are living
In my life, I've loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new

Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life, I'll love you more

Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I'll love you more

In my life I'll love you more

Paul realized as John was finishing that he had been staring at John the entire time. He liked watching John play, and he liked watching the look John got in his eyes when he played. He was pretty sure the song wasn't about him, but he loved it anyways. "What do you think?" John asked, breaking through Paul's thoughts. "It's about my life obviously, and I guess my mom kind of," John continued.

"I think it might be the best song you've written yet,"

"really?"

"yeah, I think your best songs are the ones about your life, because they're real, and more emotional," Paul leaned back against the headboard and put his head on John's shoulder.

John turned and kissed Paul on the top of the head "thanks, Macca" he mumbled into Paul's hair. "you're sure you don't feel sick?" he asked again.

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