Fears

Author's Note.

This book...this book means so much more to me than anything I've ever written.

I wrote this book because I was inspired by another book here on Wattpad, Pressure.

But I also wrote this book to make more people aware of these legitimate fears. I wanted to show people that these things are real, people are petrified by these things. And society downgrades them so much.

When I was younger, I had no idea what social anxiety was, but looking back, it was obvious I had it. I still do. Maybe if it was noticed then, it could be fixed, and I wouldn't have as many problems now.

I came into this book with no idea where it would go, but then I heard some music, and I knew that the songs would fit perfectly together as a playlist.

So first is All Of Me, by John Legend. This represents Milosh's dedication to Summer while she's gone.

Next is Photograph by Ed Sheeran. Obviously, the long distance relationship between the two of them. It also shows how scared Summer is of Milosh forgetting her. And it displays that Summer has overcome her fear of loving someone.

Then I listened to Hold On, by Chord Overstreet and I knew I wanted some conflict between Finn and Beatrice. I thought it summed up their relationship so strongly...Finn feels guilty that she killed herself and that he was going to leave. He thinks it's his fault.

And obviously, I had to include In My Blood by my husband Shawn Mendes. I just...I know I have a problem, but I definitely relate to Beatrice the most, so I felt she deserved my favorite song. But this song means more to her than that, it shows her insecurities, her anxiety, her fear. She's calling out for help, and Finn is there for her...until he isn't.

Then comes Alpha's, C'mon by Panic! At The Disco, Feat. FUN. This song says so much it's all over the place but in a good way. Kinda like Alpha. And it's just his fear of being alone yet his hope for things to turn around for him, but of course, they don't.

Lastly, Jar Of Hearts, by Christiana Perri, this so strongly shows her pain and PTSD left over from Kaleb. He burdened her with a child. Something she didn't want, something she wasn't ready to have. This song just speaks her anger so strongly and I love it.

I am afraid of people.

I am afraid of love.

I am afraid of death.

I am afraid of happiness.

I am afraid of being alone.

I am afraid of being hated.

I am Milosh, Summer, Finn, Beatrice, Alpha, and Aria.

And so are you.

Everyone has a fear.

What's yours?