i am cold
i am warmth
i am numb
i feel everything
i am all but nothing
i give love and i hate it
i talk and i am scared to be heard
17
Table of contents-
January 5th
-
marmalade
-
a love like that
-
even early
-
"do we have plans saturday?"
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the air is different
-
oxymorons? is that what they're called?
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just off
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the paved blacktop of my wellbeing
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faster, but farther
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easy fix
-
I want you to want me, I need you to need me, I beg you to beg me,
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when you kiss my shins and tell me that I matter,
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Frank Sinatra
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we talk for hours and you don't mean any of it
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mind platter
-
solitude
-
your laughter is contagious
-
enigma
-
I still feel like I am decomposing
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young Donna
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"you seem to really like the dark"
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Adaptation
-
your
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Charlotte
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"this song vibrates with human beings"
-
saturn
-
assessing my flaws: 1
-
2-20-19
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"if I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense"
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Céline
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what is love?
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beguiling
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bloom
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the mental maturity difference
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commitment
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show me love
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thank you Thoraya Maronesy
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net total
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woke the fuck up
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Hundred Acre Woods
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kms
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cocoon
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you build me
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coral gables
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the still of the night
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ford
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everything else is extra
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are you lonesome tonight?
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what if one time, I'm not? will you care then?
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let go
-
"no she's an angel child"
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where it all started...
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the river of dreams
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endgame
-
assessing my flaws: 2
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prom lol
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if I were someone else, I would want to be my friend.
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stagefright,everythingfright, everythingeverythingeverything
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bricker
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puzzling
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jetski
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not too far
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2 years
-
1:21.
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grow up
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do you wonder
-
to try
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rocketman
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gentle giant
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tightrope
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I need to buy a kite
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just a bit longer
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rock
-
ted
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growth
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Rochester
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couches with an ocean in between
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Rochester 2
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inclination towards mediocrity
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why am i so terrified of isolation
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what if who I hoped to be was always me?
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over it
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elohim
-
night before senior year
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what did I learn this summer?
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sun come down
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I don't know what to do Saturday night
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milton
-
preteen
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and that's all
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because we're actually looking
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the eyes I look into
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Shel Silverstein
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pretty lyric
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hershey fucking kiss me
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no you do not
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the end of the fucking world
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gumby
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I don't know
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assessing my flaws part 3
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I killed myself in the only way I was able
-
a-space-l-o-t
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falling
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to my future...
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I never cheated at uno
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serial monogamist
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I really am trying
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the parts that arent so pleasant
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cactusing
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it were pretense, sir
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crypt
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butterfly fly away
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synchronization
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beanie man
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nobody by mac demarco
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snow day
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my blue jeans
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un peigne
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hopefully I'll reread this every day
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it's a constant effort
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what exactly does either of us deserve?
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trying to read books
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quit wondering
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louis
-
you are my name
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journaling in cursive takes too long
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"will you say words?"
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trying times
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pretty pretty girl
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when she lays down
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setting my mind on the nightstand for when I need it
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though I'm with you, I'm at a loss for words.
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in sharpie
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adhd with legs, drinking baja blast
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i dont feel good
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today is
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little tip toes
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back porch
-
an update
-
last names
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you can't pretend that we were never best friends
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hard to tell sometimes
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don't let it break your heart
-
let it
-
search party
-
quiet motions
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