𝐔𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐰𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 | 𝐙𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐞𝐥/𝐉𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐲

1. Your bench

Zach's p.o.v.

There was more than just a stab of pain in my heart; it shattered as if it was just yesterday when I kissed you goodbye for the last time.

I did not hate what happened with a firey passion, no. Instead, I let despair consume me until there was nothing left but my numb emotions and a trail of tears. I tried to pull away from you, I tried to let go, but all my efforts were to no avail. All you'd ever do is tighten your grip on my love, and watch me shatter. It's what you've done ever since you left... ever since you've been gone.

There would surely be bruises, if you were real enough for the hurt you cause to show up. But you're not. I know that what I see is only in my mind. The image of you still haunts me everyday. It's a shame that the world sees my pain, it has already taken too much from me.

Shakily inhaling, I picked up my backpack and ran out of my house,  slamming the door behind me.

The cold air outside hit me like a train, and my breath was momentarily taken away as it hit my chest. Icy chills froze my body, sending shivers down my spine.

Autumn was always relentless where I lived. Beautiful, but bitter. I shuddered, pulling the hood of my jacket over my head as I walked down the streets of my small town, disregarding where I was going. It didn't matter anymore... nothing mattered anymore. I held on to the straps of my back pack, looking down at the rhythmic steps of my feet, trying to focus on anything other than my thoughts.

Down grey streets, I looked up at frosted leaves of maple colours, delicately falling to the ground. Maple, amber, orange, auburn... they fell to cover the grey world, hiding it's misery. I craved for something to hold me with the warmth of those leaves; for something to hide my grey... my misery.

Down the end of the street, a couple turned the corner. They held hands and huddled together in the cold, small laughs ringing through the air. They slowly leaned in for a kiss.

A smile swept across my face, yet my heart panged with longing. I craved too much what I once had, what I would never get back.

I turned around, a tear falling down my cheek. Sniffling, I tightened my grip on the straps of my back pack and forcefully walked on, with drive and determination, wanting to be anywhere but here. Wanting to be nowhere at all. Better yet, to not exist. I was already halfway there; I was nothing at all without him. I meant nothing to anyone anymore...
When he was still here, he was the only person I ever needed. He the only person who I ever wanted to be loved by.

I was drawn out of my thoughts when I looked up at where I was. My feet had led me to a place I knew all too well.

I sighed, looking around the park, before breathing in a deep breath and making my way across it, situating myself at the bench. His bench.

I trailed my fingers over the plaque, not daring to read the name engraved. I felt a lump form in my throat as tears threatened to fall.

In loving memory of Daniel Seavey; a loving son, brother, boyfriend and friend to all. Born 1st April 1999, death 13th April at 16 years of age.

Had it really been that long? Nearly a year already?

I sighed, letting my hand fall in to my lap. I looked over at the view I'd seen a thousand times over as sweet memories ran through my head.

I remembered the way it felt to have a hand in mine, how it felt to be close to someone. I remembered the sound of a beautiful laugh, the feeling of a head against my shoulder. But mostly, I remembered the way a smile could light up a miserable world.

I harshly wiped away the tears that now fell from my eyes, forcing myself to be strong. But how could I be strong when my strength had now gone? When it died, with the one person my love lied with?

My vision was blurred by my watering eyes. In the distance, I saw the blur of a familiar outline. I blinked away the tears, wiping them away with my sleeve.

Sure enough, I was right. It was Daniel from behind. He was slowly walking away on the far end of the park. I stood up, my heart beating at a hundred miles an hour. "Daniel!?" I yelled across the park. My throat was raw and coarse. He looked over his shoulder, and even from that distance, I saw his cold blue eyes soften at the sight of me.

He turned his head back forward and continued walking away. "NO!! DANIEL!" I yelled, rushing off of the bench to stand up. In the split second that I had blinked, he was gone.

I looked all around, but he wasn't there... becuase he wasn't really here anymore.
I couldn't let my deluded mind keep allowing me to lie to myself and pretend he's still here.

A/n: A new beginning. A new book. Let's take this journey. :)