𝐔𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐥 𝐰𝐞 𝐛𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐤 | 𝐙𝐚𝐧𝐢𝐞𝐥/𝐉𝐚𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐲

3. Caged in society

Sitting in class, earphones in and the hood to my hoodie up; this has become normal to me. I turn my volume so high up that it numbs my mind. I want to avoid Daniel being in it.

Around me, I hear people laughing. I pop out an earbud and look around. “Zach!” the teacher sharply calls, snapping me to my senses. “Hmm?” I hum in confusion. “I asked you a question” my teacher smugly responded, trying to catch me out for not listening. I look past her to see what is on the board. Written there is the equation 7/4 + 7×7 + 24 + 8×8

I thought for a moment, blocking out the sniggers as I worked it out in my head. “138.76” I replied. “No, .75” I c corrected myself, a sarcastic smile on my face. My teacher was left speechless. Dumbfounded, she fumbled around for her calculator and began punching numbers in. “Correct...” she silently mumbled, pursing her lips. “Moving on” she dryly muttered, trying to swiftly move past what had just happened.

The whole class had fallen silent, gawking at me in awe.  I rolled my eyes, muttering under my breath as I put my earphones back in and begin to write in my notebook. In his notebook.

...
 
Today it happened again. Every day I deal with the preconceptions and silent judgements. I used to be able to deal with it, but that was because I had you…
I don’t know if I can do it all without you. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to do it without you…
They all see me as the depressed kid with the dead boyfriend. The sad gay loser who sits and sulks. Maybe if someone actually tried to interact with me they’d see that I’m more than just that. More than just you.
 
But what if I’m not? What if you were all I ever was and all I ever will be? Maybe they’re right to stay away. Nobody wants to know the dead kid’s boyfriend. Nobody wants to get too close – It’s easier to stay away. Safer. Better. There’s another few reasons – another few ways that I am alone.

...

I sighed, closing my notebook and putting it in to my bag. I tried to go back to my work but felt eyes burning in to me. I looked up to the desk at the top right corner of the classroom and saw Daniel sitting there, his piercing blue eyes holding me in an unwavering gaze as he looked over his shoulder at me.

I cautiously looked around to make sure everyone was busy and not paying g attention before scooting my chair closer to him. “Daniel? I quietly hissed in his direction. “Zach…” he whispered back, a soft smile on his face. I gulped, my eyes beginning to well with tears. “Why are you here? Why are you doing this to me now?"

“ZACH!” a voice snapped, alarming me. I fixed my gaze on my angry teacher. “Is there something you’d like to share with the class?” She questioned, her face sporting a bitter expression.

I let my gaze trail back to the desk, but it was empty. I sighed. Daniel was gone. “No miss” I muttered, letting my head hit my desk.