Lea's POV
I knock on Claire's door to check her if she's still sleeping. I really want to talk to her. If she wants me to stay, then I will. I'd rather be sued than to be hated by my own daughter.
"Claire? 'You awake?"
"Yah."
"May I come in? Can we talk?"
"Mom ---"
"Please, sweetie. I don't like this silence between us two. I miss you. Please talk to mommy, anak."
Seconds have passed then she opened the door and sit on the bed. I close the door and sit beside her.
"I'm not leaving, sweetie. If they will sue me about the contract, then I'll let them be."
"Kapag nakulong kayo, ganon din naman po. Iiwan niyo parin ako."
"Sino bang nagsabing makukulong ako? I can bail that case naman. I'll just have a record. But that's okay."
"I don't want to complicate things out for you, mom. Okay lang naman po na umalis kayo. Maiintindihan ko."
I look at her eyes. I see nothing. Her face and aura are so passive.
"The thing is... I'm tired, mom. I'm tired asking something from you, hearing you saying yes, expecting you to do it, waiting for you to come... but in the end... you will never appear."
No tears are falling from her eyes. Her face is a blank emotion. Which are quite opposite from me.
"You promise to come home if I will get the highest honor. I worked so hard for it because I badly wanted you to be home with me and dad. I missed you so much. I longed for you. I did everything you asked me to para lang umuwi ka na. I gave you all the reasons I could give and I was so happy when you told me na uuwi ka sa twelveth birthday ko. I waited for you. I was so excited to the point that I even rehearsed all the stories I would tell you. No mater how late it was, how tired I was, how cold I get... Hinintay kita. Muntikan na akong mamatay pero hindi ka dumateng."
This time, we are both crying. We never talked about this since it happened. This is the very first time and it so damn hurts. It tears my heart apart. I can hear her sobs and God knows how much I want to take her pain right now.
"Hindi pa po ba sapat 'yon, mom? Why do you have to hurt me the same way?" She said between her sobs.
"I'm so so sorry, anak. I never meant to hurt you. God knows how I hated my self when that accident happened. Hanggang ngayon, sinisisi ko ang sarili ko sa nangyari sayo. It was all my fault. I know. I'm so sorry. Please, forgive me. I really am sorry, Claire." I bow my head and cup my face.
Sobrang sakit. Every word she said came straight to my heart and shattered every piece of it. We are both sobbing and crying.
What hurts even more to think is that I'm sure it hurts for her more, more than it is for me. I can't imagine how broken she is right now. And it's all because of me.
"I love you mommy." Who was that? Was that Claire? No, she hates me like I hate myself.
"I didn't mean what I said to you this morning. Just because you broke your promises, doesn't me I can't trust you anymore. I trust you. That's why it's okay for me if you're leaving for your last broadway show. I will be okay with it. With all sincerity, mom. You know, I can't resist you. It still hurts... but I love you."
Is this for real? Was that my Claire who just spoke?
I slowly look at her and find her sniffing and smiling while she's looking at me. I pull her immediately and lock her in my embrace.
"Oh, thank God for giving me you. I love you too, baby. Thank you so much for having such a big heart. Mommy will not disappoint you this time. You have no idea how you made me happy. You have always been my greatest happiness. Thank you for giving me this chance. I love you, anak, with all of my heart."
"You always have, mom. I know that. I'm sorry too for talking back at you sometimes and for smartmouthing you."
"I deserve all those, sweetie. It's okay." She cups my face and looks at my eyes.
"No, mom. If there are things you deserve, those are to be loved and to be happy. From now on, I don't want you blaming yourself. I have forgiven you and please forgive yourself as well. Don't be too hard on yourself. You don't deserve it. Let's all move on from what happened in the past. There's nothing we can do about it. Pwede po bang maging masaya na lang po tayo? Pwede po bang wala ng iyakan? Please, mom?" I sniff and wipe my tears then nod at her. She smiles back at me.
"Okay, baby." I said which made her pout.
"Hahaha. Can I sleep beside you tonight?" She crawls on her bed and lies on it then she taps the other side which is my cue to lie beside her. She closes our gap and hugs me. I tack her blanket then comb her hair through my fingers. She slowly closes her eyes.
"Goodnight, mommy."
"Good night, baby. I love you."
"... love you too." She whispers but I still heard it.
I kiss her head and stares at her angelic face. I don't know how to thank God more for giving me Claire as my daughter. She's the most precious human being to me. Her heart and her mind always leave me in awe for she has the biggest and purest heart and the widest and sharpest mind. It has always been a great honor to be her mother.
Tonight, I found out... Lea Salonga is no match to Claire Muhlach. I can't be prouder.
