Nervous Ticks (Joger)

Chapter 1

Author's note: Another story after my short Deacury story! I had the outline written and simply gathering dust because it was while Embrace Love was being done. Thought I'd give this story a try, because I liked the details I'd prewritten! Hope you enjoy.

John had never really fit in with anyone before joining the band, preferring it simply to sit at home and strum his base compared to going out and getting drinks with friends. It was easier when he didn't really have friends. Still, that's what led to him being one of the most amazing best players ever. (Freddie's words not his.)

He'd tried out for Queen because his little sister was beginning to show the same loner habits as him and he wanted to show her that it could be fun to do group activities. He didn't want her to have a boring life because she had him as an example to live by. John was quick to make to decision that even if he hated it; he would stick with this band called Queen. His mother had sounded both surprised and proud on the phone call that he told her. And even if it ended up being terrible, that was enough for him.

He had been in a band before, even if it had been a crappy high school music class one. It hadn't been his choice and he had barely ever spoken to the other members. No one had cared about anything and he could only remembering them practicing together once. Going from that to actually preforming in front of was completely nerve wracking. He did it for his little sister and mother on his mind; liking that they thought better of him for putting himself out there.

After their first few performances he had escaped easily, with no one paying him any mind. A few murmured excuses made it easy enough; he had no money for drinking tonight, a test early in the morning or homework to still complete. He had even once use the excuse that he had to ask about a work shift, and he didn't even have a job. The boys wouldn't know that though, as he hadn't told them much about him. No one had yet to ask about his supposed job either, so John figured that no one even cared about his ditching.

It was hard fitting into a group of people that it existed before he knew them, and he has yet to really find his place. Brian was clearly the smart one, and that was one thing John himself was used to being. In his last band John could have sworn the other's had a brain between the four of them and most of its conscious was sex acts. John had chosen to stay quiet and then one day they told him they needed someone with more opinions. That had been back in high school and he still occasionally thought about it. It didn't matter, no one was actually friends. The band hadn't even tried to look for more opinions, just disbanding because when the semester was over they finally could. John supposed they thought he might be upset about it for some reason and wanted to let him down easy first. He hadn't cared.

In the first band practice that he had had with Queen, John had attempted to make a friend of Brian but found he couldn't really hold conversation with him because he was always saying scarily big words. John was afraid to ask about them because he didn't want to seem like a child. Freddie was fine for flirting with and always seemed to be happy as long as John nodded along to whatever he was saying. Roger though, was a completely different case.

Roger was definitely a likes to talk about sex person and still very smart on top of that. It flustered John to even talk to him and the blond didn't even seem to mind. Or maybe he didn't notice because of how busy he was always trying to grab John. The man was the most physical person John had ever met. John had ducked out of Roger's grasp many times and continually had make space for himself to stand. Like, Roger liked to come up from behind and just lean on him like a wall or post. Weirdo.

Everyone really seem to like him, and that made it easier. They laughed graciously at the jokes that he knew weren't funny, and smiled and patted him on the back when he did something good musically. It gave him courage to step out of his loner shadow and talk to them all on a more personal level. That didn't include the shows though. Speaking out in front of a crowd of strangers seemed impossible, as John only lost his voice with the more people present. He'd had a few bad experiences in his life with crowds of people and it was hard to not relive when in one.

As a young teen he had been cornered and groped by a group of older boy who thought it was funny how red he turned. He'd never told anyone about it, but still had nightmares. They came at him every time they could just after school ended for the better part of a year. One time they'd even gone as far as pulling down his shorts. John had never cried so hard or loud before.

He'd told his teacher after that and gotten a funny look from the old lady. What he hadn't realized then was that she just expected him to deal with or punch them. That's what was expected of boys after all. He ended up collapsing in the hallway when one of them brushed up against him in the middle of the day. He could remember the feeling of the other boys hard on explicitly. It haunted him.

That had been the last time it had happened and John had never found out who had actually helped him. He didn't really want too, but that didn't mean he wasn't grateful. It was years later and he now had a semi interest in those kinds of things, but if someone touched him the wrong way he was out of there.

All the excuses he used were bullshit, but allowed him to escape from the building without much problem. The boys had always graciously let him escape and questioned him none. He figured it was the grace period on their new friendship and unwillingness to fight him about it in front of a crowd. Tonight was different though, and John felt his stomach upset it being caught in a lie.

The performance had been amazing and the bar had been packed, swinging around to the  beat of the bands music. John had packed up as soon as they were done, intent to leaving with his trusty base. He would take a shower back home and have a celebratory nightcap away from the crowd. It unfortunately didn't happen that way.

Roger had grabbed on to his wrist and pulled him close as soon as his instrument was packed. John gave him a panicked look and almost struggled pathetically in the grip, but didn't want to make a scene in public. Why was Roger like this? His heart raced at the very idea of being trapped and captured. John tried not to tear up, Roger was his friend and would never do anything malicious.

"Come on John, first drinks on me. Let's go grab a booth, the others have already been surrounded by fans. Let's just sneak away quietly, I've got big plans for us tonight." Roger sounded like he'd had a few drinks already, which was impressive because they'd been done for all of ten minutes. John could only wonder through his upset mind if Roger had been drinking before the concert.

John didn't want to grab a drink with Roger but had no idea how to reject the man. He was clingy and soaked with sweat, not a good combination if you asked John. It was definitely time for one of John's excuses, but his mind was drawing a blank. He barely had time to wrinkle his nose about Roger's smell before the blond was trying to physically move him towards a dark booth. Not good.