I See you

Chapter 19

Christy

 "Christy." He asks. I stare at the wall, barely breathing. "Christy." He asks again. I cant help but feel a squeezing pressure in my chest as my sisters face flashes through my mind- both of them. Aerial and Lisa, my twin and my little angel. The sister from my father, and the sister from my mother.

The ones Ive raised my entire life.

"Christy..." He asks. I see my mother's face, her auburn hair, and I hope shes ok. I hope she doesn't worry about me too much. I hope my memaw doesn't have a coniption.

"Christina, please." He pleads. I imagine my step-fathers face. My fists clench with my jaw, and I sigh in relief mentally at the fact that Ill never have to see him again. My real father, the one who's been my protector all these long 17 years. I hope he doesn't shoot someone in a fit of rage at having his worst nightmare come true. My heart clenches again.

"Chris... Christina... " Toby's voice cracks. I look at him, having made my peace. I let go if the images in my mind of my old family...

...and I open my eyes to that family I have here.

Sapphire. Sally. EJ...

Toby.

"Where does this leave us?" I ask suddenly, shocking him. He stares at me, confusion in his golden-hazel eyes. Slowly, enlightment lights up his face. He takes one of my hands, and looks straight at me, a smile on his lips and a twitch to his eye.

"This l-leaves us where ever you w-want to be left." I smile, that's exactly what I would've said in his position, and stare at him. His gloved hand reaches up, and he slowly rises on his knees, coming close to me. I reach up and slip his muzzle down from his lips, and his goggles ontop of his head. His hand presses agaisnt my cheek, and I stare at him.

"So... I'm a pasta now, huh?" I whisper. He smiles, nods, and leans his forehead agaisnt mine. A sudden, nagging question bugs my mind. "Does this... make us evil?" He jerks back, furrowing his brow, his lips twitching.

"Evil? No. Insane, of course, but... Evil?" He shakes his head.

"Do we go to heaven or hell when we die?" I ask, pressing the matter. His hand drops from my face, and he sits back on his legs.

"Neither. Were immortal." I shake my head, closing my eyes.

"No. You're immortal. I... I don't think I am. Maybe its because I still have some good in my heart..." I laugh slightly, seeing the hurt look in his eyes. "I'm not immortal. I know. I can feel it."

"Wh-Whats that supposed to mean?" He snaps, and I sigh, meeting his eyes.

"Don't get snappy. I mean I know I'm not immortal. I don't know how... But I'm not. So answer my question. Where will I go when I die? Heaven or Hell?"

He hesitates for a long time. "I don't know. But wherever you go, I go. Which means Heaven... Because you are my heaven." I freeze, staring at him with wide eyes. He smiles, twitching his hand, and reaches up again. He brushes back my hair, places one hand on my cheek, one on my exposed thigh, shown by my Jean shorts, and brings himself up, pressing his lips agaisnt mine. I close my eyes, wrapping my arms around his shoulders, and pulling him closer. His hand slowly slides farther up my thigh, my mind too lost in the feel and taste of him to notice. Hes almost eye level with me, despite me sitting on my bed and him kneeling on the floor.

So when he runs his fingers under my shorts, along my scars, our eyes both fly open and lock onto eachother.

"Chri-" He starts trying to pull away, but I slam my eyes closed, kissing him with a fevor, trying to make him forget what he felt.

He doesn't.

"Christy!" He pulls hack, gasping for breath. I sit there, staring at him.

"Y-Yeah?" I ask quietly. He pushes one of my shorts legs up, and stares in horror at the scars. I stare straight ahead, not feeling like seeing the hamburger.

"Ch-Ch-Christy..." His shaky voice breaks, and he runs a shaking finger along some of the scars. "Wh-What...." I clench my jaw, and for the first time in my life, a single tear falls from my eye. He looks up, and gently wipes a tear away from my face, his eyes almost over flowing.

"Why?" He asks simply. I don't respond. "Is it... because of wh-what I heard you t-tell Sally?" I nod, shrugging slightly. "Anything else?" I nod slowly, still not looking at him. "What?" He asks roughly, grabbing my thigh, "What could possibly possess you to self-harm?" He grinds out.

"My step-father is abusive." I say simply, finally meeting his eyes. The colour drains from his face, the anger freezing into understanding in his eyes. Another tear drips down my cheek, and my eyes dry in stubbornness.

"I know... h-how you feel." Is all he says. Then hes suddenly laying over me, his lips gently working agaisnt mine to drive away all the pain of my past.

And it works. I get lost in his touch, the images of scars and blood, steel and cuts disappear into dust. I start to look forward to living the new life Ive been given- whether I'm insane or not. I start to love my new life.

I start.... To love.... Him.

"I almost f-forgot..." He chuckles as he pulls away. I sit up with him, and watch as he pulls out a long, oak handled axe with a shiny iron blade. I stare at it, a shiver running down my spine. He hands it to me, and I take it slowly, the handle feeling natural in my grip, the ivory etchings already familiar in my grasp. Toby smiles, and I blurt the first thing that comes to mind.

"How the fuck did you hide that under your shirt?" He laughs, and kisses me again.

"Magic." He whispers agaisnt my throat, kissing it gently. I smile and sigh contendedly, pulling him down and curling up on his chest. His arms slowly encircle me, and we lay there, silent for a long time.

"By the way... did you quote 'Drop in the Ocean' by Ron Pope back there?" I ask sleepily. He chuckles, his chest shaking with the sound.

"Yeah. Th-Thought you'd l-like that...." He yawns, and pulls me closer. I smile, and push myself up to kiss his cheek.

"I did. I do. I love it." I whisper. Slowly, I lower myself back down, waiting until hes fully asleep before I whisper, "I think I love you, too...."

You don't even believe in love. You know someones special... when they make you want to believe in something again. With this thought in mind, I fall asleep in the arms of my killer, to the rhythym of his heart beat.