unexpected - ruel van dijk

sunday

this weekend has been such a whirlwind. usually i would spend my time curled up in my bedroom finishing my homework and listening to my vinyls. but instead, i went to a concert and made a new friend who is apparently a low-key superstar. i roll over in my bed, stretch my back and yawn as the gloomy, grey light peaks through my shutter blinds. i can hear the soft pitter-patter of rain on the roof. i sit up gradually and pick up my phone. it's 9:01am and my instagram is still being flooded with follow requests and people tagging me in pictures. i think some of ruel's fans must have seen me with him at glebe or something.

i intentionally don't look at any of the comments or posts i'm tagged in, because i know that  i'll definitely be subject to the opinions of his followers, and i know for a fact that i am far too sensitive to handle anything they say. i can't stand confrontation either, so i know that it would  literally crush me to read criticism without being able to do anything about it.

the concept of being friends with ruel is kind of beginning to scare me. he's such an insanely nice guy, and i feel as though i could talk to him for the rest of my life. but he's constantly in the spotlight and performing at gigs and meeting fans; whereas i would prefer to be curled up on the lounge with my family watching a rom-com or something, under like 5 blankets.

but there is just a magnetic force i feel when i'm with him. he's genuinely so easy to talk to; and for me to find a person whom i get along with well is a rare occurrence. i am so socially awkward, i barely have any friends at school besides my friend jess and a couple of others. i used to be more confident; but after i grew apart from and lost all of my old friends, i kind of retracted into my shell and i still haven't come out- nor do i really want to. my thoughts are abruptly interrupted by a snapchat from ruel. 

ruel: i just talked to my manager about you coming to the sydney show, he said we can put your name on the door

i kind of just stare at my phone for a few seconds as his message processes through my brain. of course i want to go, but do i really want to go to a concert where literally all of his fans will be there in the same place? i tell myself under my breath to stop being stupid as i type my reply.

brynne: omg i actually can't wait 

i know that i'm just overthinking the situation; i struggle with that a lot. one little thing will happen and then whoosh, my mind is overflowing with thoughts and my stomach is plagued by a stubborn sick feeling. ruel messages me again.

ruel: you can't tell ANYONE this, and i can't believe i'm trusting u w such vital information; but u should really keep ur ears open for the 30th of april boiiiii

brynne: u have no idea how excited i am holy shit

ruel: i'm excited TOO

brynne: well i would hope so, u are the one releasing the music lmfao

i turn my phone off and go and get in the shower. i still kind of feel sick, but i decide to ignore the feeling because it's literally just me being stupid. i stand in the shower and just let the steaming hot water cover every inch of my body. i take deep breaths.

eventually i turn the water off and get out, dry myself off and walk into my room wrapped in a towel. i get changed into my comfiest pyjamas and go back on my phone. ruel's messaged me again.

ruel: in the least creepiest way possible, what's your address?

i stare at my phone quizzically. i barely know this guy, why the fuck would he want  my address? based on the fact that i've met him in person, i decide to text him it anyway.

ruel: sweet, i'll be at urs in like 20

brynne: ruel wtf i'm in my pyjamas and in bed... and i have study to do