unexpected - ruel van dijk

not like that

ruel and i continue to lie on the abundance of pillows and blankets in the boot of his car. despite  the silence, it isn't awkward. we are both just thinking i guess. 

he's probably in a bit of shock at the fact that his song made me bawl my fucking eyes out. i'm genuinely so embarrassed, because now ruel knows more about me than i really wanted to tell him - considering i only met him on friday night and it's sunday today. so what, that means i've known him for a total of just over 48 hours and the guy already knows my entire life story? suddenly he shifts his body and turns onto his shoulder. his eyes tell me he has something on his mind.

"what wrong?" i ask him, a tone of curiosity lurks at the back of my voice.

"you look pretty when you cry" he replies. i instantly feel my cheeks begin to heat up as his words sink in. 

"oh my go-" i laugh. "i really don't, but i mean-" i stutter. "thank you?" 

"no," ruel replies "you really do," he moves closer to me and everything clicks, i hadn't realised this before but now everything is sinking in. he is trying to make a move. my heart starts beating incredibly fast and i can feel the nerves enveloping my entire body.

"ruel-" i say, he can read my worried expression. "i don't want to do this" i tell him. i am in no way emotionally ready for this. i don't want to build an emotional attachment to anyone, because i find it too hard to let go when they fuck me over. here i was thinking ruel and i were just friends. i feel so naive and embarrassed. ruel instantly pulls back, i can tell he's a little bit hurt.

"i'm sorry" he says, a tone of regret plagues his voice. 

"i'm just scared" i say quietly.

"i understand" ruel says as he looks down at his hands and plays with the blankets.

"i'm sorry" i say, i feel so bad. why am i like this?

"brynne you don't have anything to be sorry for. i know how hard it is to get over someone you were completely infatuated by" he exclaims. a small smile plays on my lips.

"you always know what to say" i exclaim. "i wish i never dated him" i sigh.

"don't say that" ruel says. he looks me dead in the eyes. "you'll eventually discover that dating him has taught you so much. every relationship i have been in has taught me something new," he tells me. "you learn from your mistakes, and by the sounds of things he was a mistake." he laughs. i laugh too. ruel is so god damn right.

"thank you," i smile. 

"let's drive around a bit," he exclaims.

"carpool karaoke?" i ask.

"definitely" he says as we both climb out of the boot and get in the front seats. ruel puts on i'm still standing by elton john. i scream;

"i fucking LOVE this song" i exclaim and start dancing. listening to good music always improves my mood by one thousand percent. ruel just drives and laughs at me. we continue driving around for about another half an hour and go through a mcdonald's drive thru for lunch. 

we drive back to manly beach, but this time we get out and sit on the beach to eat lunch. one would think that the circumstance of ruel and i would be awkward, considering i just fucked things up when he made a move, but surprisingly it is just as fun and natural as it was before.

"i didn't expect this day to get as deep as it did" ruel laughs as he takes a bite of his burger.

"i needed this," i tell him. "as good as my family are for advice, there's not much my parents or 14 year old brother can say to help me with dating" i add as i shovel fries into my mouth.

"i get that" ruel says. "it helps to have experience when giving advice; i'm glad i could be of service" he jokes.

"seriously," i say. "today's been so good. we should do spontaneous shit like this all the time" i sigh and smile as i look out to the ocean.

"agreed," ruel replies. "although i'm going on tour in asia in april," he tells me.

"that's insane" i exclaim. "you really are famous i-"

"i don't really care about the fame" he cuts me off. "i just love the process, of turning my life experiences into music, watching the songs come to life and performing them" he explains. "it's an insane way of life, but i literally wouldn't trade it for the world."

"damn," i say "if i were you, i wouldn't trade it either". ruel smiles as he finishes off his burger.

"let's get going," ruel gets up and brushes the crumbs off his lap. he gives me his hand and helps me up. we walk to the car and get in. ruel takes me home and we make some small talk and stupid-ass jokes as we drive. as we pull into my driveway, ruel turns to me with a serious expression.

"you have to make me a promise" he says.

"alright?" i say with an uncertain tone.

"if the people at your school are bothering you, never be afraid to message me." he says. "i'm literally a message away and i'll try my best to make you feel better". 

i can feel the pure gratitude spreading across my face. "thank you" i say. "that means the entire world; i haven't had a proper friend who i can talk to in what seems like forever."

"you deserve a million times better" ruel shakes his head.

"you're so fucking sweet;" i say. "god damn-" i add. ruel shakes his head and laughs. 

"you're starting to sound like one of my fans" he says. "i LOVE you ruuuuel... marry meeeEee... you're SO cUte!!" he says in a high pitched voice mocking the screaming teenage girls.

"don't let it get to your head" i laugh as i open the car door and get out. "i'll see you around" i tell him.

"yes you shall" he smiles. i walk up to my house, but before i reach the door i turn around and ruel gives me a little half wave. i wave back, and smile. ruel backs his car out of the driveway and drives away. despite the events of today, and my stupid anxiety fucking everything up- as per usual; i think that it went unexpectedly well. my heart is filled with a warm fuzzy feeling and i never want it to stop.

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ooooh a bit of tension between ruel and brynne!! i hope you guys are liking where i am taking this story :)

please don't forget to like and comment and i will make sure to update super soon!

love y'all and thank u for taking the time to read this - it means so much to me u have no idea.

xx