unexpected - ruel van dijk

what?

a/n there is tea at the end of this chapter

tour has been ~insane~.

i still can't believe that i've been allowed to even come on tour with ruel! auckland was amazing. his show was crazy good, and new zealand in general is a gorgeous country. i took my old fashion video camera away with us and i plan on putting together a cute little video as soon as i get home. the adelaide show didn't disappoint either. it was so adorable watching ruel meet all of his fans, he truly is so grateful for their support! at the moment it's 11pm, ruel's adelaide show was tonight and i'm sitting at adelaide airport reading the book the sun is also a star by nicola yoon, which i just bought from one of the stores here. ruel is taking photos with a group of fans who have waited for him and our flight leaves to perth in about 30 minutes. i'm literally wearing my track pants and a white crop so that i can crash straight into bed when we get there.

"how have you liked tour brynne?" kate asks me and comes and sits next to me. i look up and grin.

"it's been unreal" i tell her. "i didn't expect it to be this insane" i laugh.

"yeah," she smiles. "it gets pretty crazy"

"he has so many fans" i say, as i glance over to ruel taking photos with the hoard of girls- who are drowning him in affection and presents. most of who are either wearing his merch, or bucket hats. he looks a little weary, touring is taking a toll on him. he gives 150% every performance and i think it's beginning to catch up slightly.

"it's hard to believe sometimes" kate says. "he used to be this little kid who wouldn't stop singing... and now he gets to travel and is treated like a celebrity!" she sighs.

"does it ever get overwhelming?" i ask her.

"sometimes." she says. "ruel gets a little buried in it all sometimes. but he puts on a smile and treats every fan the way which they'd want to be treated" she tells me. i nod.

"i could imagine how chaotic it would be" i say, my eyes still trained on the group of girls. our conversation is interrupted by the flight attendant announcing over the loudspeaker that our flight is boarding. ruel says goodbye to the girls and they exchange final hugs as he walks over to us. we grab our carry ons, take out our boarding passes and get into the line. i look over to him and he smiles at me sadly.

"you okay?" i ask him.

"just tired" he smiles. we eventually board the plane. before long we're in the sky again. i could never tire of flying. it feels so surreal to be above the clouds. i feel so secluded up here in my little cabin with ruel to my right. i look at him. he's fast asleep with his headphones in. i sigh quietly. living like this would be so intense. touring constantly, but then being home with nothing to do. there's literally no in between. i look back out the window and put my airpods in. i blast after the storm by kali uchis and tyler the creator.

after three hours of immense boredom, we finally land in perth. i am itching to get to our hotel room and get to bed. i didn't sleep at all on the plane. i yawn as i pull my painkiller hoodie out of my carry on and put it on. it makes me even sleepier than before. we go and collect our bags from the baggage collection and nate ushers us into taxis almost straight after. i fall asleep in the taxi and manage to fall onto ruel's shoulder. i am awoken by a slight nudge.

"we're here" ruel whispers. i wake up slowly and ease my way out of the taxi. ruel pulls my bags from the boot of the car and hands them to me. i drag the suitcase into the lobby as ralph gets our room keys from the receptionist. coco and i will be sharing once again.

after we get the keys we head up to our room and crash straight into bed. i drift off to sleep straight away.

~the following morning~

i am awoken by the sunlight peering through a slight gap in the curtains of our hotel room. i check my phone, it's 9am. coco must be already down at breakfast, because the room is empty. i quickly get out of bed and get changed so i don't miss breakfast.

after breakfast we head out and sight see for a bit, until it's time to head back and get ready for ruel's show tonight. it's his last show on the australian leg of the painkiller tour. tomorrow he's heading over to europe, and i'll be heading back home to sydney.

i change into my last outfit. i put on a white bralette, a white mesh top, some gold glitter flares and my black doc martins.

i tie my hair down into a low bun and i blow-dry my fringe so it sits on my face lightly.

we head to the venue and go backstage. ruel seems a bit off tonight. he's not hyping anyone up. instead he's kind of keeping to himself. i guess he's upset because it's his last australian show? before long, he takes to the stage and it's obvious he's absolutely giving it his all. by the time he's about to play free time the audience is hanging off every note he's singing.

"i have a friend." he says. "and she's been on tour with me for the last couple of shows" the crowd replies in an array of screams. "this next song, is free time. it's about the insecurities you feel when you've just gotten out of a relationship that has become a big part of your life." the faces of the audience stare back at him in awe. "the first time i played this for her, she broke down in tears."

my mouth goes dry. the words bounce around in my head and rattle in my ears for a few seconds before they truly sink in. is he seriously telling the entire fucking audience this?!

"i know it sucks to break up with someone," he adds. "this one is for you brynne."

my heart drops and it feels as if all of the blood drains from my head. i begin to feel light headed and tears form in my eyes. my chest feels heavy and i begin to heave for air. i rush to the bathroom and begin to cry. i can't believe he just told everyone that. i don't tell ANYONE this stuff. and he's just gone and told an entire audience, most of whom were filming it!

i hyperventilate as the tears continue to stream down my face. the feeling of pins and needles fill my fingers and black spots are swimming through my vision. i haven't had an anxiety attack for so long, i truly thought things were getting better. i trusted him!

the walls of the small bathroom are beginning to choke me. i open the door abruptly and begin to pace the hallways. soon enough ruel finishes his show. he runs backstage, filled with adrenaline as per usual. i lock my eyes on him and he looks at me, his excited expression fades and is replaced by one of concern. he paces towards me. i simply stand there. still in tears.

"brynne?" he asks.

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DAMN SIS WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN?!

thank u so much for reading. sorry i haven't updated in a week, but i truly 100% know exactly how i'm gonna write the next handful of chapters, so i'm excited for that.

please vote and comment if you enjoyed and if you're excited for the next chapter, because i definitely am!

again, thank u so much

xx