unexpected - ruel van dijk

school

{trigger warning - bullying and death threats in this chapter}

i wake up groggily on monday morning to the voice of my mum.

"brynne, it's 7am" she says; "you have to get up." i groan. my mum opens my blinds and walks out of my room. school is the absolute last place i want to be. especially after the incredible weekend i've had. anyhow, i drag myself out of bed to my bathroom. i straighten and blow-dry my fringe to make it look at least half-decent and tie my hair into a low bun with my black velvet scrunchie. i put on my usual amount of makeup (just enough to make me look semi-alive) and  put on my jasper crystal bracelet, my silver hoops and my school uniform and trudge down the stairs to make breakfast.

i grab a yoghurt from the fridge and pour it into a bowl, i then layer it with my homemade muesli (it is one of my most favourite things on this planet). i eat it as quickly as i can, put on and tie my school shoes, grab my bag and head out the door to walk to the station to catch my usual train to school. my anxiety resurfaces as i sit on the train; my stomach feels as if it is tied into knots. this feeling used to bother me, but now i'm so used to it i've basically learnt to ignore it. my friend jess gets on the train about three stops before we need to get off.

"any updates on that guy from the concert?" she nudges me in a total 'you totally got with him' kind of way. usually i would have said no, since i'm so used to being ghosted. but this time i smile and nod my head.

"actually," i say "we've hung out twice" jess' eyes widen.

"NO WAY" she squeals; several people on our carriage turn around and look at her quizzically. "you totally got with him" (see i told you). i shook my head.

"nah," i said, jess looked at me disappointingly. "it's not like that" i say. i intentionally leave out the part where he tried to make a move, purely because i can't be bothered going into my personal issues. the train pulls up to our station and we get off.

"i'm so proud of you though brynne" jess says. i smile at her and mockingly take a bow. "i'm serious" she says. "after daniel, you literally shut down" i look at the floor. "every baby step is another inch closer to being over him," she tells me.

"i guess so," i say half-heartedly. 

"you can do SO much better than him, it's insane" she exclaims. i smile at her half-heartedly as  we finally reach the school gates. as soon as i walk in i see daniel sitting on the other side of the playground with his new girlfriend bianca and all of my old friends. they all look at me and daniel makes some remark (probably about the way i look or something) and their group erupts in laughter. i put my head down and keep walking; jess flips them off.

jess and i are standing at our lockers as the bell rings. the halls are instantly filled with a wave of students. bianca (daniel's new girlfriend) walks past us with her friend amelia. 

"he's so gorgeous" we hear her say.

"what's his name?" amelia asks her.

"ruel," she says. "he's even from sydney and his music is like amaaazing", they keep walking down the hall. jess and i turn to each other and start cracking up. holy shit this is so funny.

"what the fuck are you laughing at" i hear a voice from behind me. i instantly go quiet, because i know that it's daniel. "you're such a fucking piece of shit, i wish i never dated you" he says as he walks past me; a few of my old friends walk with him and laugh. my face begins to burn, and i can feel it go bright red. 

"let's go to the bathroom," jess says, as she can see i'm getting worked up. we open the door to the girls bathroom and jess checks all of the stalls to make sure no ones in here. "you have to talk to one of the teachers about this," she says "he can't keep making you feel like shit at school"

"jess, you know i can't i-" i get choked up by the tears that i'm trying my hardest to hold in. "if i told a teacher i would get in even more shit with him than i'm already in" i sigh. this sucks. i wish he would just leave me the fuck alone so i can get over him. the fact that he keeps bugging me keeps him at the forefront of my mind.

"i'm sorry brynne" she says and envelopes me in a tight hug. i shut my eyes tightly and wish to be someone else. someone who has countless friends and someone who is happy. 

"we should probably go to first period", i say. "mr green is going to actually rip my head off if i'm late" 

jess and i walk out of the bathroom and the stinging sensation from the tears in my eyes slowly goes away. for the rest of the day, i keep my head down. i try my hardest to not draw any attention to myself; but it's in the last period in my maths class where i feel something light hit the back of my head. i turn around and pick up the scrunched up piece of paper. i unravel it.

go fucking die. no one would even care you piece of shit.

i look to the back of the classroom to see daniel sitting glaring at me. i turn around slowly and stare at my blank math page. i stare at it so intensely that my vision becomes blurred. my eyes also well with tears and begin to sting. i sit motionlessly for the rest of the class. time feels like it has been slowed down. finally the bell rings. i pack up my stuff as quickly as i can and walk briskly out of the classroom and away from daniel.

i sit on the train by myself and tears pour from my eyes. this is so unfair. i can't stand going to school. i walk home from the station slowly, my mood has completely shifted from what it was on the weekend. i unlock the front door of my house and go straight to my bedroom. i pick up my phone and message the only person i feel like talking to- 

ruel.

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CLIFFHANGER OOOOO! what's gonna happen? what's ruel gonna say? find out in the next chapter hehehehehe.

i really wanted to focus on brynne's school life in this chapter, to explain why she's so anxious and why she has such deep and complex trust issues surrounding relationships. i hope i'm painting her image as well as it's set out in my head; and even more importantly, i hope you're enjoying the story so far!!

i know i say this after every chapter, but your comments and votes literally mean the entire world to me, u have no idea how much it warms my heart to get notified that people are reading my story and are ENJOYING IT!!

thank u so much for reading this, i hope you enjoyed this chapter (even tho it was a bit of a deeper one whoopsies)

xx