If you think for even a second that I loved what I did, you are wrong. I hated myself, I hated how I became, I hated everything in this world that pushed me to make choices like these ones. Everything sucked, the sky wasn't blue anymore, and my surroundings' colours seemed to be slowly draining, turning into a black and white, dull world.
Maybe it was the depression, maybe the alcohol, or even the smoke that made me see things this way. No one can do everything, and there's only so much some people can take. When I reached my limit, I knew there was no saviour. I knew I was dead meat.
It wasn't his fault though, no. It was no one's fault; nobody pushed me over the edge, dressed me up in slutty clothes and made me change my whole perspective and opinion on the world. It was me who pushed myself, and I couldn't blame anyone. I got exactly what I asked for, even though I never thought what it would really mean when it was first requested.
Sometimes, when I got two seconds to myself, I wondered why I did what I did, and nothing came in mind; absolutely nothing, blank. Now, there must've been some reason when it all started, which I lost interest for along the way. That's how it always ends up, right? It smelled cliché from the very start. Stunk, actually.
The sweet girl I used to be once upon a time was gone now, and every time I happened to look at the mirror, it was as if I could see her smiling at me, just like I smiled to strangers in the streets believing that a simple gesture could change a life. My life was far gone though, and little Ebony's smile couldn't do shit for me.
Because she was gone. Ebony was gone, long gone.
There was only Bo now.
A whore.
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uM hope you like it bye
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whore || hemmings
Nouvelles“what do you want?” “i want you to turn me into a whore.” @fluorescented 2014 copyright, all right reserved
