whore || hemmings

fourteen ➳ high for this

The room was spinning in circles round my head but I could care less, for now I was having the time of my life. I don't remember how everything started; all I remember was Ash handing me a cigarette, gushing about how amazing it'll feel. What's so different? It was just fucking smoke after all.

I tried to catch my breath and watched as Ashton followed suit. Sweat trickled down the side of his face and he rested his arms behind his head with closed eyes. I eyed my own body, covered in a thin layer of sweat. This must've been the third round -or maybe the fourth- of sex we were having and it still didn't feel enough.

My head felt so heavy when I tried to sit up and quit trying after the third attempt. Ashton laughed loudly in his raspy voice, lazily turning his gaze towards me with eyes puffy, due to his quick slumber.

"That was pretty dope."

"Ashtoooooooon" I whined, literally rolling out of bed and ending up on the floor. I was still naked and sweaty, but my pounding head refused to give me the luxury to think this through and feel remorse. Not that I would, even with a sober mind.

He sat up and bended over the edge, tossing his hand out for me to grab. "Get up, Bo; we smoked too much." I took his hand unwillingly and climbed up on the uncomfortably tall bed. We laid there for a few more minutes and I soon found myself falling asleep in his arms, which was definitely not what I wanted.

It was morning when I woke up. Ash was still passed out next to me, snoring lightly as his soft curls covered his forehead and framed his sleeping face. I took one good look at him and then slipped out of bed, fishing my clothes from the floor. I pulled my leggings on first and threw my shirt over my head whilst stepping on my leather combat boots. Quickly jogging towards the door on my tiptoes, I looked over at the bed, where he slept. I sucked in a breath and dragged the door open as quiet as I could, before slipping out to the hallway.

Random people were passed out on the floor, some of them alone, while others were sleeping on someone else's chest or tummy, or even back. I passed by everyone in silence and ran down the flight of stairs, heading straight to the entrance.

A few guys were now on the process of waking up, pulling the chicks sleeping next to them. Some of them whined, not wanting to wake up or for an upcoming headache, while others opened their eyes for a bit and fell back asleep. It was nice being so careless, but I had to leave for a reason I couldn't understand.

I pushed the door open and the cold, morning breeze slapped my red cheeks instantly, guiding a shiver down my spine. Closing the door behind me, I stood on the porch steps for a few minutes, just gazing around the huge garden, filled with red plastic cups and even clothes, on some cases. A pool was on the left side and the other was packed with trees, giving it a hiding place look. Someone sitting on one of the sunchairs caught my attention and I began making my way towards them, hoping it'd be Luke, somehow. My vision was far from clear due to the drugs drowning in my blood from last night.

Thankfully, once I reached the chairs, I could see it was him. Taking a deep breath, I gathered all my self-confidence and plopped on the spot next to him, causing him to flinch and shift a little further from me.

I looked down at my hands. "You've been avoiding me."

"No I haven't" he protested quietly, blowing smoke out of his puffy lips. I gave him a look with the corner of my eye which he willingly ignored, and took a drag from his nearly finished cigarette. "I just happen to have a life in which you aren't involved, Bo."

I was getting rather irritated with the way he's behaving. "You promised to help me, Luke, and all you did was have other people do all the work for you."

"Oh, did I? Because, if I remember correctly, I'm the one who took your fucking virginity" he snapped, staring at me long and hard. The lump on my throat got bigger and I stopped talking under the intensive stare he was giving me. "Don't fucking push me."

"I'm pushing you?" I hissed in my defense almost immediately. "You haven't been talking to me all week and the only friends I have during school is Ashton and Calum; and if I remember correctly, you got all pissed when we first talked."

"Ashton's a manwhore" he mumbled whilst keeping the cigarette between his lips, and then gave me a quick look. "You know that first hand though, right?"

I coughed awkwardly. "Excuse me?"

"You fucked last night" he simply said, staring at the other chairs located in front of us. My hands were trembling now; how'd he find out?

I shrugged. "So what? That's the point."

"You don't know shit about what you're getting yourself into" Luke whispered and shook his head, as if he was feeling sorry for me deep inside. "You're so caught up in revenges and shit that you're gonna mess it up." All at once I found his blue eyes gazing up right into mine and an uneasy feeling stirred deep inside my chest. "That's what I'm trying to protect you from."

"You were with a girl last night" I blurted out after taking a few-minute pause. "I don't know what you two did, but I saw you; Ashton helped me find a damn distraction, and I'm thankful for that. So you can't just shove it on my face that you're my protector and all that crap when in reality, all you think about is fucking any girl that walks."

He closed his eyes and blew out some more smoke, his eyes fixed on the grass smashed underneath his Vans. I ran my fingers through my hair and shoved my hand in the pocket of his hoodie, dragging the packet of cigarettes out. I took one and lit it, taking a long drag. Luke's eyes were staring at me with confusion and I handed him the packet, not saying anything else.

"I didn't know you smoke."

I turned to him with a sly smile. "You do now."

We stayed there, drowning in an awkward silence as the sun set upon us. He kept on sitting down, even though his cigarette was finished; he just stood there, staring at his hands and clapping them quietly from time to time. I was trying to get all my feelings gathered and think things through, but my dizzy mind was making it too hard for me.

"Just be careful" Luke whispered out of the blue before standing to his feet, shuffling a little. "That's all I'm gonna say."

I stood there, staring at him like an idiot as he made his way back inside the house. My mind was still filled with questions, most of them involving the word 'why'. There was a huge hole in my heart which I couldn't fill, nor explain its existence. So, I left the house in my party clothes and smudged lipstick, walking the way home all by myself.

-*-*-*-

sorreh for not updating for days, I was sick as hell and stuff and ughhhh

pray that my mum lets me buy adidas superstar II bc goals !!!!