30 Days

abandoned ; weak

Day 2

Paige sighed as she walked into the school. She thought, " Hold on Paige, soon you will leave this place forever. " She heard the whispers of the students but today it was different from the usual.

" Oh my god, is she thinking that River is going to be with her? "

" River is so much better off without her. "

" Who wants her anyway? She is just some trash. "

" Paige is such a disgusting name. It sounds more like pig!"

She held her head down and her clenched fists at each side of her body. She hurriedly went to her locker but before she reached her locker, someone shoved her which sent her catapulting to a body.

There was the laughter of the person who shoved her and high fiving his friends. She knew she was the joke of the school, the loner, the odd one out, the student who can never fit in. She squeaked, " Sorry." To the person she banged into.

Usually there would be a pushing match where the students will push her here and there but instead there was a warm laughter coming out of the person's mouth and he said, " It is okay Paige. " She looked up and realised the person she banged into was River. She asked, " Why are you at my locker? Is that it? You trying to make friends with me so that you can shame me? Like how you will be telling your friends that all the things that the whole student body is saying is true."

River widened his eyes and started denying, " N-no no! Paige I genuinely want to be friends with you, and I was waiting for you. I am not the kind of person who will believe in rumours. " He mumbled, " I even abandoned my friends for you. "

Paige replied, " Whatever. " She quickly opened her locker and dump the things she needed for classes into her bag and walked away. River caught up to her and said, " Paige where's your homeroom? "

She refused to talk to him, she didn't want to get too attached to him. She knew that all the important people in her life will leave eventually. Her heart had been broken too many times that it actually left a permanent crack in her heart. She didn't want River to penetrate through the walls that she had so painstakingly built.

She quickly walked into her homeroom as she heard River said goodbye to her. She just nodded her head to acknowledge his goodbye. As she was in homeroom, she thought about her father when he left her mother to follow his dreams. He even abandoned her. Because of his actions, her mother had to work a lot which resulting in her with no emotional support.

Fifth grade, she remembered she used to hang out with three girls. Their names were Lizzy, Daisy and Amanda. They were as close as best friends. They even went shopping and had sleepovers. Then one day, they just simply abandoned her. They didn't talk to her or even invited her to eat at their table. All they left were letters. Lizzie said that she hang out with her because of Amanda. Daisy said that same excuse as Lizzie. Well what Amanda wrote was the most hurtful, she said that she had to hang out with her because her parents said that she had to.

Paige thought how pathetic she was. She thought that they were actual friends but in the end it was actually just a forced friendship for them. She thought that at that time, how naive she was. She should have never believed that she had actual friends.

-

River was staring at the board as his math's teacher, Mr Lachester, was writing all sorts of equations but he wasn't paying attention like usual. He was thinking of Paige, about how she built walls around her. He wanted to know why she was so quickly to jump into conclusions about him trying to make Paige a fool of herself instead of him trying to make friends with her.

He realised that the bell already rang signalling the start of lunch. He saw that in the classroom, there were only a few students left, most of them packing at a very slow pace. He stood up and walked to the administration office.

He thanked the heavens that the office was empty, all of the workers were probably eating lunch. He looked at the box of folders that were labeled from A to Z, these folders contains everybody's timetables.

He thought " What is Paige's surname. I remembered it starts with M. Paige M... Paige Mc.... Paige McClaren! " He dived straight into the M section and found it. He quickly slipped out of the office unnoticed just in time to see a worker walking to the office.

He leaned at one of the walls in the deserted halls and scanned through Paige's timetable. He realised that he have, surprisingly, 4 out of 5 lunches with Paige. He also realised that he had one class with Paige and that is Literature. He felt disappointed with himself for not realising earlier that Paige was in the same Literature class as him.

He walked to the cafeteria and looked around but he couldn't find Paige. He went to the table where he usually sat with his friends. He said, " From now on, I would eat with Paige but I will still eat with you guys occasionally. " One of his friends taunted him, " Sure but why Paige? Loser Paige? I thought you had a better taste and not a girl like her. "

He had the urge to punch his friend in his face for talking about Paige like talking about some disgusting trash. He gritted his teeth and replied, " Because I want to and she is not a loser. " His friend shrugged and said, " Whatever. But I warn you if you hang out with her, there would be nasty rumours about you. And don't come crying to us because you made this choice of hanging out with her. " " I won't " He said harshly and walked off to buy some snacks before going to find Paige.

-

Paige was sitting at the dump where she decided to stay there everyday during lunch out of anyone's radar. She thought about the events that she experienced in her 17 years. Happy and sad events but she fondly remembered that preschool was the only period where she always looked forward to go to.

She sighed. Preschool was where everyone did not have judgmental eyes. Everything was simple and sweet. Everyone just wanted to be each other friends but now, they grew up to different people. She guessed that life changes people's appearances and also, their personalities. Suddenly, she heard River's voice, "Hey."

She looked up and narrowed her eyes and said, "What are you doing here? Why don't you just eat with your friends and not a loser like me? " He replied, " You are not a loser. Never believe what other people say about you. Okay? Just believe that you are worth it. "

She told him with a voice, soft yet firm, " You don't understand. You are not the one being bullied. You are not the one who is being pushed around on a occasional basis. Everyday, you don't face with students throwing mean and hurtful words right at your face. I bet you never ate a lunch alone in your life! You never get disgusted faces being directed at you. So you can never understand how I really feel and don't give me that bullshit about not caring about people's words. Because I AM THE ONE WHO IS BEING BULLIED AND I HATE IT! "

There was silence between the two of them and then Paige realised. She thought to herself, " I have let him in too much already. I never told anyone how I really felt. I just met him for god's sake and I am already making myself look like some girls desperate for attention. Stop it Paige. You just met this guy. He may turn all this information against you and the bullying may intensify. You are just a hopeless girl. You have no value. You are weak. You are basically a nobody. "

She got up and ran. She ran, knowing that she had open up to him more than she ever did to anybody. She cried as she ran outside the school gate and into an alley way, she lean on the wall and slid down onto the ground. She cried until there was no tears coming out of her eyes.

" No! Paige! " River shouted as he saw her running away as fast as her legs could carry her. He wanted to run after her but he decided to let her calm down. He just sat beside the dump and Paige's sudden speech keep playing on a repeat. There is one sentence she said that stood out. "So you can never understand how I really feel and don't give me that bullshit about not caring about people's words. "

He thought about it. He would try to understand how she feel. Yes, he never been bullied before but when's there is a will there is a way. He just hoped that she would open up to him more. He knew that tommorrow that she will be withdrawn and whatever effort that he made to be friends with her even if it was only one day, was diminished. He sighed and he just stayed at the dump, lost inhis own thoughts until the bell rang signalling the end of lunch.