30 Days

afraid ; loneliness

Day 1

Paige woke up tiredly because of the lack of sleep from tossing and turning during the night. She aimlessly got ready and went to eat breakfast. As predicted, her mother was out of country once more. She sighed.

Once she entered the school, the whispers had started. She believed that these students were the reason why she hated school in the first place. It all began when...when someone told the whole school that she was the cause of her family being seperated. Unconsciously, She tugged down her sleeves to cover her arms.

" Slut "

" Fat "

" Hopeless "

" Ew "

" Unwanted "

" Attention Seeker "

" Freak "

She heard all of this on a daily basis. At first, she knew those were just rumours but it became so familiar to her ears eventually, she started believing them.

Every single day, Paige wanted to scream and shout to those people who detested her. She wanted them to know how did it affect her and they were the cause of the scars on her arms. But she simply didn't have the will and power to do that. So, she had to embrace students' snide remarks and taunting laughter.

Lunch came. As she exited the classroom, many students were rushing to the cafeteria. When she got to the cafeteria, she wanted to queue for food but she felt everyone was looking at her. Her hands began sweating and made them clammy, her breath quickened. She had no choice but to quickly escape the judgemental stares and sit beside a dump behind the school building.

She breathed deeply trying to calm herself down. Slowly, her breath came back to normal. She began to pull up her sleeve and traced the pink scars that each scars were reminders of how worthless was she. Tears started welling up in her eyes. She started crying and blaming herself.

She told herself,

" Why must you be so fat? "

" Why must you be the accidental child? "

" Why must you be a freak? "

" Why are you such an attention seeker? "

" Why? Why? Why? "

She put her head between her knees and cried and cried usually it went unheard but suddenly she felt a tap on her shoulder. She looked up, it was a boy.

River was walking around school because he had finished his lunch and felt that he needed to get some fresh air. Then he saw her beside the dump, she was crying as her bangs messily came down her eyebrows.

He walked over to her and tapped her shoulder. She looked up with red rimmed eyes. He held out his hand and said, " Hi I'm River. " She kept looking at River as if she can't believe this guy was talking to her. Finally, she said hoarsely, " I'm Paige. " He asked her, " Why were you crying? " She replied, " None of your concern. "

He felt that she was still shaken up from crying so he decided to drop it. But then, he saw the scars along her arms and from that, he knew that she wasn't crying over some petty little thing. The bell rang, signalling that lunch period ended.

River told Paige, " See you later? " Paige looked at him and shook her head. He looked at her questioningly and she whispered, " I don't think you would want to see me again. With all the rumours around about me. I don't think you would want to hang out with someone so worthless as me. " River knew who she were as his friends gossiped about her before.

Deep down, River knew that Paige wasn't the girl that everyone described her. She was something much more. So much more. He determined that he would find out who she really is. He looked at her in the eyes and said, " I will see you later. "

With that, he walked away leaving Paige with new thoughts. She thought that River was a delusional boy and he would leave her right away after he got word about the things people said about her.

When school ended, Paige was walking down the school hall and she didn't notice the foot that stuck out in front of her path. She tripped over and fell, her books were sprawled out on the floor. Mocking laughter erupted out of students' mouths as they watch her crawl on the floor to pick up her books and there were tears at the brim of her eyes.

Suddenly, in her blurry line of vision, she saw a hand that was extended. She looked up and it was River. He said, " I'll help you up. Come on grab my hand. " She grabbed his hand with her shaky hand as he pulled her up onto her feet.

New whispers came out of students' mouths. They were wondering why a student was helping a freak like me and they reckoned that he would abandon me after some days like everyone else.

She asked River softly, " Why did you help me up? " River said, " Is it a crime to help my fellow student? " She faltered, " No, but didn't you care that you will be judged by people for helping a freak like me? "

He stated, " Firstly, you are not a freak and secondly, " He whispered in her ear, " I don't care. " This caused Paige to shivered and she said, "Thanks but I can handle all this by myself. "

He smiled and asked her if she wanted a ride home and she politely declined but he insisted. He then dragged her to his car. She felt drained out with her crying and with school. She fell fast asleep soon after in his car.

She was awakened up by River telling her that she was home and she was surprised that he knew where she lived but she was too tired to ask him . She said goodbye to him and walked into her house.

She went on telling herself not to be too attached to River cause he would leave soon after like everyone else. She knew that he would run away if she told him about her demons. She knew that no one could handle a monster like her and it was better if she just kept to herself.

As River drove off, he knew that Paige wasn't some slut nor freak but a special girl. When he saw her at the dump, he felt this pull towards her. She intrigued him and he was itching to know more about her even if that meant falling down to the deepest point of the social hierarchy. He wanted to help the broken girl and heal her. He felt the need to protect her.