I'll Never Leave You (Lams College AU)

Chapter 38

A/N - thnk u everyone who reads my story it means a whole hell of a lot to me enjoy y'all

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Chapter 38
Alexander's POV

   "My father, my mother, my brother, my cousin, or my nightmares." Tears streamed down my face now, John threw a leg over my lap and straddled me. He cupped my face with his hands and got real close to my face.
   "I will not end up like anyone except your boyfriend. I love you and only you, Alexander Hamilton. And fuck whoever says that you don't belong or that you deserve anything, the only thing you deserve is love and affection." He leaned in and kissed me, after a moment of hesitation I kissed him back. John slipped off and picked me up off the floor bridal style. He set me on the bed and crawled on top. He brushed my hair away from my face and leaned down, planting a kiss on my lips. We kissed until we couldn't breathe. We ran our hands over every inch of each other's torsos, kissing passionately. After about 20 minutes of this John rested his head on my chest trying to catch his breath.
   "What are you doin'" I chuckled.
   "Listening to your heartbeat, hmmm~." He mumbled, I laughed.
   "What the 'hmmm~' for?" I ran my hand through his hair.
   "I dunno~." He sighed.
   "What's all the sighing for?" I chuckled.
   "I love you, Alexander.~" He sighed again.
   "Love you too, John." I chuckled, he turned his head and pecked my chest. I felt my face grow warm and I squeezed John tight. "John?"
   "Hm?"
   "What would you do if I tried to kill myself?" John shot up.
   "W-WHAT!" Tears tugged at his eyes, threatening to fall. "ALEXANDER NO!" John wrapped me in a tight hug. "DON'T YOU EVER EVEN THINK FOR ONE MOMENT ABOUT EVEN TRYING THAT!" He broke down and sobbed, I've never seen him so broken.
   "John, I-"
   "Please, Alexander don't. I love you so much and I- god! If you killed yourself, I-" He sobbed some more.
   "John, I need to show you something." I muttered, John sat up.
   "W-what?" I removed my watch to reveal several scars all ranging from shallow to deep. "ALEXANDER! Why the actual fuck would you cut yourself, none of this is recent. Is it?" He grabbed my arm and inspected it. I tried to pull away but he held it stead fast, he looked at me  wide sad eyes.
   "No, they aren't recent....because you're here." I muttered. John looked back at my arm, tears ran down his face and dropped onto my wrist.
   "Why would you cut yourself?" He choked back sobs.
   "I dunno, I used to do it because I had no one to tell me not to or even care enough to notice." I stammered, John leaned down and kissed my wrist.
   "Alexander Hamilton please do not even think for a moment about doing this again or trying to kill yourself. I love you too much and I'm here for you." He climbed on top off me and wrapped his arms loosely around my neck.
   "Ok, but only for you." I mumbled sheepishly, John smiled bright and pecked me on the lips. He grinned a stupid grin.
   "What?" I laughed.
   "You're just so damn beautiful.~"
   "That dumb grin just might break your face, Jesus." I laughed, John made a big show of grinning then pecked my on the lips once more.
   "What time is it." I looked at the watch that lay on the bed.
   "Uhhhh, 12:57." I slipped the watch on my wrist.
   "We've got time." John muttered.
   "Time for what?"
   "Time for this." John stood and grabbed one of my hoodies, pulling it over his head. He opened the door and beckoned me to follow, I slipped into sweater. I followed John down the hall until he stopped.