I'll Never Leave You (Lams College AU)

Chapter 49

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Chapter 49
Alexander's POV

   "It's just you're so beautiful and I just couldn't help myself-" John trailed off and looked down at his hands. I used my thumb and forefinger to lift his head.
   "It's ok." I smiled and John grinned. "Everyone gets....exited....from time to time." John stuck his tongue out at me and got up.
   "Imma go to the bathroom, be right back." 
   "What are you gonna do? Go jack off in the bathroom?" I teased, John stuck his head out of the bathroom.
   "Care to join?~" I picked up a pillow and threw it at him, hitting him in the face.
   "EW, NO!" John picked up the pillow and threw it back.
   "Worth a shot." He shrugged and closed the door, locking it. I laid down on the bed and scrolled through my phone. After a minute or so John unlocked the opened the door and plopped down on the bed. He grabbed a sketch pad from his desk and a pencil. He began to sketch and I noticed that every few seconds he'd glance up, studying me.
   "What are you doing?" John's hand froze.
   "Nothing!" He tried to hide his sketch pad.
   "Oh, c'mon!" I sat up and tried to grab the pad. We wrestled for the pad until I came out on top. I sat on top of John, he clutched the pad against his bare chest and looked to the side. "C'mon, Johnny!" I pleaded, John looked up at the name. His eyes grew wide and he snapped his head back to the side.
   "No!" His voice quivered slightly.
   "Pleaaaaaaase, babe?" I made a puppy dog face and used my finger to draw circles on John's waistline. John shivered and I grabbed the sketch pad.
    "LEX, NO!" John tried to grab the pad and I held it out of his reach. It was an incredible drawing of me, every last detail was perfect.
   "Wow, Johnny!" John blushed and covered his face. He seemed to remember something and he propped himself up on his elbows.
   "Hey the nurse said you'd stayed up all night. Why?" My grip on the pad loosened and John stole it back.
   "Nothing." I lied, John sat up and cupped my face with his hands.
   "Alexander Hamilton, you cannot lie to me." John pecked me on the lips and I pushed him away. "Alex, c'mon. Not this again." John sat back and crossed his arms, pouting.
   "John, I couldn't bare see you in the hospital like that. I'm sorry-" Tears started to form in my eyes.
   "Sorry for what?" John's voice dripped with concern.
   "I couldn't stop myself I just- I just-" I trailed off and removed my watch, revealing several cuts on my wrist. John gasped and tears started to stream down his face. He dove forward and wrapped me in a tight hug.
   "Alex, I love you so much. I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you. Why didn't you tell me sooner?" John buried his face in my neck and I felt his tears run down my back.
   "I didn't want you to yell at me." I sniffed, John pulled back and stared at me in disbelief.
   "Alex, I would never yell at you for something like this!" John wiped his tears but more replaced them.
   "You're not mad at me?" I sniffed.
   "I'm frustrated with you because I begged you not to and still don't know why you did it." John took my hands in his and played with my fingers while he spoke.
   "I did it cause I couldn't stand to look at you in that hospital bed." I sniffed, John pulled me into his lap and I tried so hard to push away. He held me close and I sobbed into his shirt.
   "Did you do it right next to me?" He asked sheepishly, I nodded slowly and I heard him choke back a sob. He squeezed me tighter and sobbed into the crook of my neck. "W-why?" He stammered, I pushed away.
   "I'm sorry." I sobbed, trying to get away. John grabbed my arm and pulled me to him.
   "Alex, I am telling you right now. I am going to make damn sure that I will never leave you." John squeezed me tight. "I'll die before I leave you."
   "But then you'd leave me." I sniffed, John stiffened.
   "Wait-" He seemed to think though what he just said. "Wait shit-" I pushed myself away from him, laughing. "I take it back!" He started to laugh himself. "What even is life!" He shouted and fell back into the bed.
   "I dunno." I giggled, falling onto his chest. He wrapped me in a hug and listened to his heartbeat.
   "Lemme see." I pulled my wrist and he carefully took it. I heard his heartbeat pick up and he kissed my wrist. "There all better." I looked up and saw a stupid grin plastered across his face.
   "You're so stupid." I smiled, tossing a pillow at him.
   "Yes, but I am your stupid." He gasped. "WHAT IF WE GOT THOSE SHIRTS THAT SAY 'I'm with stupid' AND THEN I COULD WEAR THE ONE THAT SAYS 'I'm stupid'" John's face lit up with delight at the thought and I giggled.
   "Oh! That reminds me!"