Skating Back Home // Michael Clifford.

17.

"Hello?" I answered Michael's call.

"Did you see my text?" he asked right away.

"Uh. Okay? Well, yeah I did," I answered.

"And?"

"And what?"

"What do you think?"

"My date was good," I bit my lower lip.

"Oh," he fell silent for a second, "did you read the other part?"

"Of you still wanting me?" I smirked.

"YES! That one!" he exclaimed.

"Hmm, what about it?"

"Emizie," he said sternly.

"Remember when you broke up with me?" I asked.

"Look I'm -"

"No, listen to me," I cut him off, "I wrote a poem for you.  Do you want to hear it?"

"Yes," he replied and sighed.

“Alright," I held the book in my hand and read out aloud, "I learned a lot about emotion when it was the only language I could speak.

I learned a lot about absolute truth when you only sold me half-truths.

I learned a lot about loving myself when I found out you didn’t really love me.

I learned a lot about putting myself first when I realized other people wouldn’t put me first like I do for them.

I learned a lot about loneliness when I was in a crowded place.

I learned a lot about smiling when I had gone days crying every night.

I learned a lot about caring about people when no one cared for me.

I learned a lot about healing as you ripped into my flesh.

I learned a lot about valuing myself when I realized you never valued me.

I learned a lot about taking care of myself when I realized you couldn’t.

I learned a lot about appreciating everything about myself, when you didn’t.

I learned a lot about friendship when I lost it.

I learned a lot about temporary feelings when I knew mine would last forever.

I learned a lot about being a second choice when you were always my first. I learned a lot about you when you broke my heart.

And all I have to say is,

Thank you.

Truly.”

"Do you like it?" I asked after a few minutes of silence.

"You know what? I’m stil in love with you. Yeah, it’s that bad. You’re so beautiful to me," He replied and I groaned, and he said, "Shut up, let me tell you, let me. Every time I look at your face on Facebook or my phone, or even remember it, it wrecks me. And the way you were with me, and you were just fun and you make fun of me and you’re real. I don’t have enough time in any day to think about you enough. I feel like I’m gonna live a thousand years ‘cause that’s how long it’s gonna take me to have one thought about you, which is that I’m crazy about you. I don’t wanna be with anybody else. I don’t. I really don’t. I don’t think about girls anymore. I think about you. I had a dream the other night that you and I were on a train. We were on this train and you were holding my hand. That’s the whole dream, you were holding my hand and I felt you holding my hand. I woke up and I couldn’t believe it wasn’t real. I’m sick in love with you. It’s like a condition. I feel like I’m gonna die if I can’t be with you and I really can’t be with you, so I’m gonna die and I don’t care ‘cause I was brought into existence to know you, and that’s enough. The idea that you would want me back? It’s like, greedy.”

I sighed, “Baby, you know I was your one and only. You should know by now that something like this only happens once. You should also know that it’s too late. It's been 3 months, Michael. You don't understand how much things have changed. And you will never understand, I just don’t love you anymore.”

With that I disconnected the call.