Lost Love

VI. Heal

I woked up in a peaceful and solemn room. I carefully walked through the door to welcome who's knocking. It was sister Elaine with a wide smile on her face.

"Good morning Clementine, did you had a good sleep?" She asked. I nodded curtly at her.

"Breakfast is served already. Join the others and we will have our self renewal later" sabi pa nito. Pagka alis ni sister Elaine ay naligo na ako at nag bihis ng isa Pastel yellow wholesome dress at pinarisan ko ito ng nude color flat sandals.

I was staying here for almost a month now and I can almost tell that Im healed. I smiled at the reflection of myself in the mirror and went to the balcony of my room.

Napasandal ako sa railings at ninamnam ang napaka preskong pang umagang simoy ng hangin. The view of this place really made its solemnity and it can give a rightful peace of mind to someone who's really in need of it. This place owned a 30 hectare land with a very beautiful landscape, environmental friendly  surroundings and a very solemn church. It also has a huge image of mama Mary on top of the hill which is near at the church where you can pray peacefully or you can just hang around and watch the beautiful landscape below it.

May retreat house rin sila, kung saan lahat ng tao ay welcome na mag apply sa self healing and self renewal classes nila. Marami akong nakasabay noong pumasok ako rito, mommy was the one who volunteered to bring me here. May patient daw kasi siya noon na ayaw ng magpa gamot. Gusto na lang niya ng self healing galing sa may kapal at siya ang nag recommend nito kay mommy. That patient is so close to my moms heart, mommy wanted me to give it a try. It really worked though, the mind  and soul of that patient really healed. But then God is the only person who can judge if people really meant to stay on the earth, that patient died after healing her soul.

Hindi na ako tumanggi pa kay mommy dahil gusto ko na ring gumaling ang napaka tagal na sugat na naiwan sa akong puso. Gusto ko ng makalimot, ayoko na na tuwing may magpapa alala sa akin tungkol doon ay wala akong magawa kundi ang mag breakdown, matakot, malungkot, magdusa at umiyak na lang ng umiyak. I really felt helpless noon, ngayon napapatunayan ko na ring napapatawad ko na ang sarili ko.

Sa totoo nga lang ang mga kasabay ko dito ay may mas malalang problema pa sa akin. Pero syempre lahat naman ng problema ay may kanya kanyang lalim at kanya kanyang dahilan kung pano naka apekto sa isang tao. I guess mine is trauma. I just didnt overcome it easily.

Pagkatapos kong makita ang pag sibol ng araw ay bumaba na ako para pumunta sa gazebo kung saan nagsasalo salo ang mga nasa retreat houses nila dito. Walang required na araw or buwan ang stay mo dito. Ikaw ang mag dedesisyon kung hanggang kelan mo gustong manirahan sa lugar na to. Mommy booked me for a 1 week class but I insisted to make it longer kaya naman almost a month na ako rito.

Tito Hank also agreed and babalitaan na lang daw niya ako sa mga mangyayari pagka balik ko sa trabaho. Im still thankful for whatever is happening right now. I sat on my usual spot and the waiter served my first course. Pagkatapos kong magsabi ng thank you sa waiter ay nakita ko ng paparating na rin si Hannah, ang partner at nakilala ko rin dito.

"Morning ate" masayang bati nito sa akin. I smiled at her and greeted her good morning too.

"Grabe, I feel so refresh again. Sarap talagang gumising sa ganito kagandang view" dugtong pa niya.

"Oo nga eh, sana palaging ganito na lang ang buhay" sagot ko naman sakanya.

"Ako, paniguradong ilang araw na lang ay ganito na ang bubungad sa akin tuwing umaga" masiglang sabi pa niya. Nalungkot ako sa sinabi niya.