Adventures of The Sad, Broken, and Happy (Hobbit Fan Fiction)

Chapter 5 Emily Joins

Grace

~~~

I notice something is up when Alex doesn't scream or swear at those boys for pushing Bilbo around. However I decide not to say anything. I'm more concerned about Allie drinking, she attempted to have a drinking contest with the two dwarves. Now I don't know a lot about dwarves but I do know they drink a lot and getting drunk is harder for them. I hate to say this, but Allie is a total lightweight. She can't take ale straight up, she does but she shouldn't. Come to think of it most hobbits can drink quite a bit, but not her.

As Fili, Kili, Dwalin and Balin are rearranging the dining room, another knock sounds and Bilbo goes to open it. Bilbo looks furious and I stifle a laugh, because when he gets mad he makes the weirdest face and stomps those big feet.

"Oh, no! No, no. There's nobody home! Go away, and bother somebody else! There's far too many dwarves in my dining room as it is. If...if this is some blunt head's idea of a joke, I can only say, it is in very poor taste!" Bilbo rants as he goes to the door.

"Haha more people," Allie laughs and dashes to the door. Just as Bilbo opens the door a bunch of dwarves fall through onto the floor, behind them Gandalf pokes his head out.

"Gandalf," Bilbo and Allie say. Bilbo says it with an annoyed tone and Allie says it with a huge stupid smile.

"Come in, come in, I made plenty of food for everyone," Allie invited and begins helping the dwarves up.

The dwarves set to work very quickly running around Bag End, finding chairs and tables, raiding the pantry thoroughly, and drinking ale right and left.

"Those are my... Excuse me, not my wine! Put that back. Put that back! Not the jam, please. Excuse me," Bilbo tries to get the dwarves to stop and put the things back ,but to no avail he just looks like a crazy stressed hobbit next to Allie who is laughing and helping wholeheartedly.

"Excuse me! A tad excessive, isn't it? Have you got a fucking cheese knife?" Alex snaps at the largest dwarf by far who is hiding three huge blocks of cheese.

"A cheese knife? He eats it by the block," a dwarf with a funny that interjects.

"Screw it," Alex grumbles, waves her hand, and stomps over to me. I'm leaning on the wall casually watching everything. "Learned anything?"

"No not yet but I wouldn't attract to much attention to us we are elves and dwarves hate elves," I whisper.

"Right."

"No no, that's Grandpa Mungo's chair, no...uh, so is that. Take it back, please. Take it back, this is antique, not for sitting on. Thank you. That is a book, not a coaster. Uh...put that map down," Bilbo rambles and tries to stop all the dwarves, but honestly it would take a lot more than just a small hobbit to stop them.

Gandalf and the others start setting up the dining table with food and drink, when an older dwarf with fanciful braids framing approaches Gandalf.

I don't know why I'm monitoring all the conversation, but I am incase I can get any useful knowledge.

"Excuse me, Mr. Gandalf."

"Yes?" Gandalf says raising an eyebrow.

"May I tempt you with a cup of camomile?" the dwarf asks.

"Ooh, no thank you, Dori. A little red wine, for me I think." The dwarf's name is Dori, good to know. Gandalf walks through the hallway and starts counting the dwarves on his fingers.

"Uh..Fili, Kíli. Uh...Oin, Gloin. Dwalin, Balin. Bifur, Bofur, Bombur. Dori, Nori," he says each name he nods at the dwarf. I smile in triumph, now I know all their names. Bilbo then bolts past me after one of the dwarves carrying a small basket of tomatoes, his prize winning tomatoes to be specific.

"Ooh yummy," Allie muses grabbing at a tomato.

"No, no. Not my prize winners, thank you," Bilbo snaps grabbing the plate and the tomato out of Allies hand.

"Awww," Allie whines.

"Ori!" Gandalf exclaims probably just remembering the name. Suddenly the one named Bifur, that has the axe imbedded in his head, walks up to Gadndalf and starts gesturing wildly and saying something in a tongue I don't know. He is most likely speaking in kuzudhal, the secret dwarven language.

"Yes, you are quite right, Bifur. We appear to be one dwarf short," Gandalf muses and nods in agreement. So Gandalf knows dwarvish, the super secret language. Come to think of it Gandalf has probably gained the trust of all races.

"He is late, is all. He traveled north to a meeting of our kin, he will come," Dwalin explains.

"Well I can't wait to meet him by the look of your face you respect him quiet a bit don't you. I bet he's a good warrior," Allie interjects skipping down the hallway, all the dwarves eyes following her.

"Mr. Gandalf?" Dori the timid adult comes back holding a small hobbit glass of red wine.

"Hmm?" Gandalf turns around.

"A little glass of red wine as requested, it's got a fruity bouquet," Dori offers, handing the glass to Gandalf.

"Oh, cheers," Gandalf wishes and drinks the whole thing down. It is a small glass and once he finishes he looks at it somberly.

"Ooh I want one," Allie coos, reaching to grab the bottle from Dori.

"No Allie that's enough," I state, my hand shoots out and I stay her arm.

"Awww Grace please it's a party!" Allie pouts.

"Yes but you don't need to drink for it to be a party," I inform her.

"Fine party ruiner," Allie mutters, crosses her arms, and for a split seconds she's sad. It doesn't take another second before she's back to smiles and skipping.

A knock echoes through the hobbit hole again and all heads turn to the door. Everything goes silent very suddenly, it must be their leader.

"I'll get it," Allie volunteers skipping to the door. I follow her and Alex follows me, both of us prepared to draw weapons in case this so called leader tries anything. Allie rips open the door and I gasp and sigh in relief. It is only Emily. Cute little Emily standing in the doorway.

"What's all the noise about?" Emily questions innocently.

"We are having a party with dwarves Emily! Come in come in join us!" Allie cheers, grabbing Emily's hand and pulling her in.

"Uh Allie why are you wearing that nightgown to a party?" Emily asks, looking Allie up and down. I promptly look at Allie's outfit and choke on air.

"Well shit! I forgot we were in night clothes still," Alex swears.

"Oh would you look at that, oh well," Allie muses to herself and shrugs.

"Oh no little missy you are changing right now!" I order. Allie's pink nightgown is long yes, but also kind of tight and makes her look to cute. Any man or woman would love to just eat up the tiny blonde and I will not have some dwarf sweep her off her feet to a foreign kingdom and knock her up with dwobbit babies.

"Uh no I'm not," Allie says.

"Yes, you are," I argue.

"No I'm not catch me if you can," Allie squeals and runs away.

"Wait I'm coming too!" Emily yells and chases after Allie.

"Freaking hobbits," Alex mutters.