Adventures of The Sad, Broken, and Happy (Hobbit Fan Fiction)

Chapter 11 Bilbo Faints

Grace

~~~

"What about you Bilbo?" Allie asks suddenly.

"What about me?" Bilbo inquires.

"Are you coming?" Allie enlightens.

"Here look it over." Balin hands Bilbo a contract. "It's just the usual summary about the pocket expenses, time required, remuneration, funeral arrangements, so forth," Balin explains.

"Funeral arrangements?" Bilbo squeaks. Bilbo opens the contract and starts reading it. "Ooh." As Bilbo reads the contract, I see Thorin whisper to Gandalf and decide to listen in. It's a force of habit and I like to make sure the people I'm around don't get smart with me.

"I cannot guarantee their safety."

"Understood, but I do not think they'll need your protection," Gandalf responds.

"Nor will I be responsible for their fate," Thorin whispers.

"Agreed," Gandalf nods.

"Stop eavesdropping," Allie hisses to me.

"I'm just making sure they aren't underestimating me," I argue.

"Sure," Allie allows and  rolls her eyes.

"Total's cash on delivery, up to but not exceeding, one fourteenth of total profit if any," Bilbo reads getting paler as he goes. I imagine it is one eighteenth profit now. "Seems fair. Uh...The present company shall not be liable for injuries inflicted by or sustained as a consequence thereof, including, but not limited to...lacerations. Evisceration. Incineration?"

"Oh, aye, he'll melt the flesh off your bones in the blink of an eye," Bofur confirms, nodding his head enthusiastically. Bilbo takes a few breaths probably to try and process.

"You alright, laddie?" Balin asks.

"They aren't underestimating us are they?" Allie asks.

"No Gandalf isn't, but the leader Thorin does," I reply. "He seems concerned he'll be liable for anything should happen to us."

"Huh? Yeah, I fe..." Bilbo pauses taking a huge breath. "I feel a bit faint."

"He's infuriating," Allie mutters.

"Think furnace, with wings," Bofur adds.

"I...I...I need air," Bilbo complains.

"If anyone is held liable for my safety it is you," Allie scoffs.

"Why do you let him bother you?" I look at Allie. She usually so resilient against peoples judgement.

"Flash of light, searing pain, then puff! You're nothing more than a pile of ash!" Bofur exclaims smirking.

"Because he looks down on women and people he deems lesser and I won't stand for that," Allie hisses in a quiet voice. "And he's making me feel too much too fast, I resent him for that."

"I think I'll be-No." Bilbo faints dead away.

"Oh, very helpful, Bofur," Alex growls, picking Bilbo up.

"Allie if you ask of me I can protect you from him and any other member of this company," I offer and she looks up at me with glassy eyes.

"If only you could."

~~~

Emily

~~~

"So why do you want your best friend who's an assassins to kill your father?" Fili prompts and I turn to him, hiding a flinch.

"Oh you heard that?" I mumble setting the book I was looking at down.

"Yes and it got me curious. A pretty seemingly innocent gal like you want your own father dead. Seems off," Fili mumbles and shrugs, stepping closer. Pausing for a second I put on an emotionless mask. Grace and Alex taught us to hide our emotions in critical situations, so our foes wouldn't get the best of us. I guess I'm using it now. Fili picks up a random book and looks at it.

After Bilbo fainted I stepped into Bilbo's reading room to have a breather.

"Well mister Durin I believe that's none of your business," I reply, keeping a cool voice. "It's a nasty personal matter."

"I suppose, but you're apart of the company now and I need to know if any of you have soft spots. Things that can't be spoken about or pasts that would come to light in a harmful way?" Fili manages to give a good reason for his invading my personal life.

"But that's half the adventure, the bad pasts coming up in intriguing ways. And of course it is half the mystery mister Fili. I can't give up all my secrets and neither can they."

~~~

Alex

~~~

"So platonics huh?" Kili grins.

"Yeah which means don't go trying shit with me," I snap brashly.

"Well of course not but we are tied together for life," Kili counters.

"Yes I suppose we are. This makes you my ally. Don't go blabbing my secret identity, or I will have to fuck you up platonic or not," I threaten.

"Hahaha okay." Kili gets a look at my serious face then gulps. "Seriously?" I nod. "Oh okay then."