Adventures of The Sad, Broken, and Happy (Hobbit Fan Fiction)

Chapter 7 Thorin Oakenshield

Allie

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"Hey wanna watch me challenge the dwarves to a drink off?" Emily asks.

"Sure!" I reply. Emily beams and it takes off the edge. The dark haired hobbit saunters up to the dwarves brothers and sits herself down before them.

"Hello boys, I'm Emliy and I'm challenging you to a drink off," Emily states blatantly. The boys are Fili and Kili. 

"Fili," Fili introduces, his eyes not leaving her.

"Kili, and do you really think you can beat the both of us?" Kili teases.

"Yeah I'm a pretty good drinker." Emily and I smirk because we both know something they don't.

"Alright lass your on," Fili challenges and grins. Emily grabs a full chalice and chugs it down without batting an eye. The two do the same.

"Excuse me I'm Ori," the youngest dwarf says.

"Well hello Ori I'm Allie," I return kindly, but the turn to the drink off again. All of them are on their third cup.

"I have to say I'm wondering how you are?"

"I'm fine why?"

"Well if I found out two of my best friends were assasins I'd be a lift little freaked out," Ori responds.

"Yeah I'm a little freaked out about two of my best friends being assassins, but worse things have happened to me...Thank you Ori I appreciate your concern." The fifth cup now and Kili is starting to slow down. Fili seems more intent on watching Emily than he does in winning.

"Well I have a motto, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. I remind myself of it all the time. Helps me get though life," Ori shares. In that case I'm very very strong.

"That's great motto Ori, thank you."

"Okay I'm out," Kili bows out, he just barely finished his seventh cup.

"You gonna keep up lass?" Fili smirks and drinks down another.

"No you getting tired?" Emily retorts. I turn to say something to Ori but his brother have dragged him away. Frowning I turn back to the game.

"So what makes a lass like you into adventure?" Kili asks.

"Just want to leave my boring life," I lie.

"Can you fight?" Kili presses.

"Yes, Grace taught me the basics of daggers and I have pretty good aim if I do say so myself," I reply with a small level of pride.

"Well I suppose that'd be useful, but you really shouldn't be wanting to come. Our leader might not let you."

"Why is that?" I demand as Emily chugs down her tenth cup, unfazed.

"You're a lass, not meant for adventures," Kili answers coolly. I jump into fury and open my mouth to yell a snappish reply, but Alex beats me too it.

"The hell you say?!I could fucking kill you in seconds dwarf! Just because we are fucking girls does not mean we are not fucking equal to you. You want to know what? Damm you! You know what fuck you!" Alex rants. Kili goes pale and freezes up, his hands held up defensively. I see Alex glance at his exposed left hand and stop short. "Fucking shit you're my fucking platonic." I cannot help but burst out into loud laughter at the reaction.

"My name's Kili," Kili offers weakly.

"Alex Blackheart but you already know that," Alex counters and they wander off to talk.

"Woah, you just don't give up do you?" Fili sighs after his twelfth. "I give up your one tough lass."

"Thank you," Emily accepts and drinks down her sixteenth.

"How are you unfazed?" Fili asks.

"Its my secret," Emily whispers, winks, and bounds off.

"Shes one dynamite gal," Fili sighs deeply as Bilbo runs up obviously furious and flustered.

"Allie when is this party over? Because ooooohh you're in for it," Bilbo threatens. It's a fake threat, he loves and coddles me too much to ever follow through with any sort of punishment.

"Hey Bilbo! Come on enjoy the party before their leader arrives. From what I've heard he's a pretty serious guy. Sounds like a real party dampener, even worse than you," I ramble.

"Ugh!" Bilbo stomps his feet and tugs at his hair.

"Excuse me, I'm sorry to interrupt. But what should do with my plate?" polite little Ori queries and lightly taps my shoulder.

"Here you go, Ori, give it to me." Fili says and takes the plate from Ori, tossing it to Kili in one smooth movement. Kili throws it to another dwarf in the kitchen and they continue doing this with all the plates in a rhythm. I laugh as the plates fly past my head through the air. Alex, Grace and Emily appear beside me and tap their feet along with the beat.

"Excuse me! That's my mother's Westfarthing pottery, it's over a hundred years old!" Bilbo exclaims. The dwarves ignore him and start using the cutlery to play music. "And...and, ca...can you not do that, you'll blunt them!"

"Ooh, d'you hear that, lads? He says we'll blunt the knives!" Bofur teases.

"Blunt the knives, bend the forks," Kili starts singing, as carefree as ever.

"Smash the bottles and burn the corks," Fili continues.

"Chip the glasses and crack the plates."

"That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!" They all chant wildly.

"Cut the cloth and tread on the fat."

"Leave the bones on the bedroom-mat, pour the milk on the pantry-floor, splash the wine on every door, dump the crocks in a boiling bowl, pound them up with a thumping pole."

"When you've finished, if any are whole, send them down the hall to roll!" we all sing together. Gandalf laughs as he watches the dwarves cleaning up the dishes and cutlery as they sing.

"That's what Bilbo Baggins hates!" I shout, louder than everyone to end the song. As the dwarves laugh, Bilbo walks into the kitchen to see all his plates and cutlery have been cleaned and stacked.

"Well how bout that Bilbo?" I tease, patting him on the back.

Suddenly three loud knocks on the door make everyone freeze and stare. I suppose this leader of theirs is here now.