Reign | Dark #1 (18+)

29. LONGING

Austin

All I ever wanted was to rest my tired eyelids, and just to be done with my life. But I can't. I was the Prince of Lycans. Many Lycans still needed me. Many things had changed since the rejection of my destined a couple of months ago. But it felt like an eternity...of pain. The painful rejection, full of loathing and fighting to hold onto the last shred of humanity.

I even stopped fucking women. For fuck's sake! The only thing that killed my boredom. Even so, the pain wasn't as physically impairing as in the first couple of days, but it was still fucking hurts emotionally. The feeling of being unloved, unwanted, unneeded was duller. Indeed you would never understand the feelings associated with the rejection unless you had personally experienced them. I laughed at my friends who had lost their mates long before because I thought they were weak—but no, they weren't. They were strong. Mates were supposed to love one another and treasure each other.

But what can I say? What can I do? I couldn't compete with the Royal fucking Highness King of fucking Vampires, Iandraze.

My Lycan, every time I shifted, he would take over while I was pushed away. He would dare and wanted to challenge Iandraze into fighting until one of us is dead. That was suicidal... I knew and was thankful that Soleire was there to take care of me physically. After my Father would knocked me out or had to punish me and thus would impair me with injuries. He even put a leash on my beast to dissolve the pull and instinct to claim what was rightfully his.

We would run, barely touching the flesh of Earth beneath our feet. Some vital components had disconnected inside his head the moment our mate rejected us. My head spinning, my eyes burning and my mind ran through a thousand different questions. He wanted to be destroyed in the lost forests, mountains, or places we couldn't recognize. He would not stop until our lungs burning from exertion, or the muscles in his legs would quiver.

And that was the part where he would just stumble, a mournful howl ripped from his throat. He would cry. Again and again...

Sol would even feed me on her own. Always a challenge. She was very patient dealing with me. Her eyes were in pain every time she has to use the silvers to restrained me. I was too groggy to even remember my name.

But the delicious scent that wafted over me, tickling my senses...was still very fresh and unforgotten. Bursting with the energy my Lycan and I seemed to crave for eternity but couldn't contain. The thought itself brought a whimper to my beast. The marrow of his being was bleeding, and there wasn't a damn thing I could do to staunch the flow. Leaving it empty, bruised and a shell of the person we once were.

For almost 200 years of dwelling with life, for the first time, I felt the embrace of immortality was like picking the brightest crayon in the box. It was childish to think of it. At first, you would be confused and picky. But after a few more thoughts running rampant through your head, the darkest color becomes more prominent and was important. Even you're left with a well eye-catching color that was supposed to catch your attention, alas, it was all the same.

Sometimes, you just gotta have to hold and believe in yourself.

And learned.

"Hey," a soft yet loving voice said.

"What?" I didn't have to turn around to see who was talking. In times like this, she was the only one who would come and disturbed the peace left of me. Sometimes, her going style and innocence made me jealous.

"Just wanted to check if you're not dead," Lizbeth mumbled. Her voice was in doubt if I even heard her or did I even care? But somehow, I care. She was my sister, my only sibling.

She was just like my mother, gentle but if they don't care about certain things—no matter how desperate it was for their attention—they will never have it. She even possessed the genes of a mother.