Head Above Water

Chapter 2

Kim lifted his torso and let Roche pull down his pants as he kissed her. Her lips tasted like her strawberry lipgloss. He slowly pushed himself inside her loving the way she gasped. It was the sixth time they made love for the first time and they were both still experimenting with each other. He could not remember what made them decide to lose their virginities but he liked it until it became something they had to do when they were alone together.

Afterwards he lay beside her and she lay her head on his chest.

"I love you" she said softly and he bit his lips. She lifted her head and looked at him, her eyes widened. He smiled.

"I love you too" he said what she wanted to hear and she pressed a kiss on his lips before laying her head on his chest again.

But did he really love her? Did she really love him? If she did, she wouldn't have lashed out on him in his hospital bed while they were pumping pills from his stomach. And if he loved her, he wouldn't have been in the hospital in the first place. She would have been some sort of reason why he wanted to live.

Kim looked at his phone from where he lay on his back staring up at his ceiling. His phone would normally be buzzing by now with texts from his so called jock friends but they all kept their distance as if he was contagious. Suicide is not contagious, is it? He startled when his phone vibrated and he glanced at Roche's name popping up at the screen 'you ok?'

He sighed and then switched off his phone. If she cared she would have visited him more often, she would have asked how he was his first day at school. He turned on his side when his door flung open he sat up instantly looking at his mother coming in with a glass of water and pills.

"You always knock" he let out surprised.

She shrugged as she handed him the pills.

"Well not anymore" she replied irritated "Not after you tried to kill yourself"

She bit down on her lips taking him by surprise and he wondered if she really did care about him other than her reputation. He swallowed the pills and she left.

He lay awake some more as he waited for his parents to argue again but it was quiet that night, maybe she did it for him or maybe Ken Young was with his mistress again. Kim pretended not to notice things and not to know as much as his parents pretended that they succeeded in hiding things from him.

Kim sighed and closed his eyes knowing that another night of insomnia lay ahead. On average he got about four to five hours sleep if he was lucky. It was as if something shook him awake to just lie awake as stare at the once glow in the dark stars stuck on his ceiling. As a kid he was afraid of the dark now he seems to be living in it all the time.

The last thought he had was that of Erin. She was the poor kid in school, the broken kid and yet she never tried to kill herself. Guess she's not as broken as everyone thought she was.