Head Above Water

Chapter 4

Kim leaned forward, his hands on his knees as he gasped for air.

"Hey, Suicide boy!"

He looked up. The moment Erin lay eyes on him, she was taken aback. Her eyes widened in shock. Suddenly she wrapped her arms around him and held him as tight as she could, he hesitated at first but hugged her back.

"Just breathe" she whispered "There's no one here, just us. Just breathe"

Her voice sounded like an echo and as much as he was suffocating, he liked her arms around him, he liked being hugged.

"Slowly in and out, just air filling your lungs"

He did as she instructed feeling his heart beat subsiding getting slower until he was breathing almost normal.

"You're doing so good"

His hold on her was not so tight anymore and she let him go. She smiled at him and her brown eyes sparkling. She had pretty eyes, pretty smile, pretty face.

"You okay, Suicide boy?"

"It's Kim" he corrected her.

"Oh, I know"

She giggled and he shared a laugh with her. He shyly stuffed his hands in his pants' pockets.

"You know I recently discovered painting" she said "It helps me cope with stuff and I avoid the high school cliches"

She pointed towards the school when she said that. Then she pulled out a cigarette and dangled her car keys in the air.

"Wanna sit with me?" 

He hesitated and before he could answer he felt her arm curl around his. He looked at Roche beside him.

"You okay?" She asked concerned.

He nodded and turned to look back at Erin but she already walked off and got in her car.

They shared a look before Roche dragged him off with her.

"What did she want?"  She asked crunching her nose.

Kim shrugged.

"She was just being nice"

"Looks like she was hugging you" she let out. There was a distinct jealousy in her voice. It made him snort chuffed and her arm curled more prospectively around his.

"She was just being nice" he repeated himself as he bit down on his nails. How would he begin to tell her that he started having panic attacks when he himself did not know what was happening to him? Besides, he expected her to have broken up with him already. What popular girl would want a suicidal boyfriend? And yet here she was and he did not know why. She couldn't possibly want a happy ever after for them unless, like his parents she wanted to keep up an appearance of the concerned girlfriend.

He startled slightly when she curled her arm tighter around his again as she dragged him back to their group of friends with whom he had nothing in common besides for the fact that they played soccer together. He took a deep breath hoping the bell would soon ring. He'd rather sit in a class pretending to listen to a teacher than pretending to have fun. It became a full time job. And yet it wasn't always that way.

He had someone in his life that made things better and worthy. Someone that made him feel like he belonged somewhere in the world, that saw and knew his weaknesses and strengths because he was always there when Kim needed him.