Head Above Water

Chapter 11

Roche glanced at Kim as he left her house and maybe it was the moment their eyes met or the first words they said to each other that made her shudder in fear. He was too perfect for her and she did her best not to let him see that. She stood outside hugging herself as she watched him jog off into the night. She lifted her hand to yell then texted him to let her know when he got home.

She went inside and lay down on her bed pulling her pillow near and smelled him on it. She smiled dreamingly at his scent. Is it wrong to like someone that much? Is it wrong to like someone who wanted to die? Her smile faded at the thought. He wanted to die and leave her. She sensed that they connected less when his grandfather passed away but who felt that way about their grandfather? It was not like he raised him and he had a living mother and father who was not divorced or anything then again what would she know? On paper her life was perfect.

Her parents are nothing short of supportive and loving and she has a little sister who adored her. There was no room for failure in her house that was why she always did her best to keep up. She studied hard to keep good grades and eventually go to a prestige college her parents picked out for her. She would become a successful business woman and thrive at everything she would do.

She pictured herself doing everything alone until she met Kim. She didn't have to pretend to be perfect around him. He just liked her the way she was and she always thought he was the perfect one. And because she feared losing her first boyfriend she sat silently next to him watching him gaze into nothing fearing to ask what was wrong and what he was thinking about. She lay in his arms as they were interrupted by quarrels between his parents. He made up excuses and she left.

Maybe she should have asked what was wrong just once. Maybe the just once would have brought them emotionally together.

Roche was so angry at him, she blamed him for being selfish but maybe she was the selfish one.

After she got home in the early hours of the morning she lay on her bed passed out. She had too much to drink and she did know why. After the first few and a few texts to Kim, he finally showed up at Chad's house. She lashed out at him for the first time accusing him of wanting to stand her up. Immediately she apologized and blamed the alcohol. They made out in Roche's cousin's car and Kim joined the crowd. He drank too much too and Roche's cousin had her hands full getting them to sit still in the car.

She remembered when they stood outside Kim's house and she wrapped her arms around him, pulling him as close as you can pull someone and still make out with them. He had a spark in his eyes in the dark like his eyes was smiling at her for a moment and she knew he loved her.

"You are so beautiful" he let out "And perfect"

It was the last words he said as he got out. He had his hands in the air and waved as the car drove off. She remembered looking back at him looking up at his house before he walked in.

Roche covered her face with her hands. She woke up the next morning when her parents rushed in her room with the news about Kim and she still struggled to process what happened and why.