The Bad Idea Factory

Dialogue Prompts

These are not mine. I found them on the internet.

"Quick!" A pen and paper were thrust into my hands. "Make a list!"

"Whatever this is, I'm pretty sure I don't deserve it."

"This can't get worse." *stuff gets worse* "I lied. It got worse." "You just HAD to ask, didn't you?"

"How'd it go?" "I want to stab everyone." "Don't get blood on your dress. We have reservations at seven."

"Right now, I don't know if I want to kiss you or throw you off a bridge." "Can I pick?"

"How many people did you tell?" "Basically everyone."

"Want to see what kind of trouble we can get into?" "We're going to die, aren't we?" "It's a Tuesday, I know how to restrain myself." "You absolutely do not."

"Not today, logic!" "That's a good phrase to live by."

"I'm sure that sounded better in your head, but please never say that again."

"I accept no responsibility, and would do it all again."

"We were driven from our lands, but we would never take yours."

"The meek don't inherit the earth. That's just what the bold told them so they'd get out of the way."

"But why is it green?" "We turn our food in different colours to celebrate different holidays." "You are so weird." "Just wait until I introduce you to the green eggs." "You eat MOLD on this holiday?"

"Why is he bleeding?" "Because he's an idiot." "I didn't know idiocy caused people to spontaneously start bleeding from the nose." "It's a new phenomenon."

"If we get arrested, it's your fault." "If?" "When."

"Well, this is a nice change of scenery." "It's a prison cell." "I was being sarcastic."

"You act as if levitation is against the rules." "What if it is?" "There are no rules in this madhouse."

"But why do you love me?" "Because you bug me, weirdo. Duh."

"My skills are exceptional." "More like excremental."

"I always wanted to start an apocalypse."

"You want to know why I rescued those people? I'll give you a hint. I'm not a hero. But I am hungry. Shall we begin?"

"She's your girlfriend, isn't she?" "Was it that obvious?"

"I hate to say it, but this sucks." "It doesn't sound like you hate to say it."

"There are literally seventeen different ways that could have gone better. Literally. I'm counting them right now, moron."

"Was it love at first sight?" "Whoever told you that was a filthy liar."