*Discontinued* Cursed

Virgil (Ch. 55)

"Vae, hold on!" I glanced around me stopping only for a second before taking off much to mothers dislike. I couldn't help it. I was excited. I was... My body froze as these flashed filled my vision and I tense up. Blood... rope... screams... too much. It's way too much. 

"Virgil!" I felt someone pull me back and I frowned getting snapped out of my thoughts. "We aren't thinking about that right now. Focus on the good memory." I nodded letting the calm caring voice drift me back to where I had been before. Mother was laughing as she finally caught up to me.

"Vae, you are way too fast for this old lady." I just laughed jumping into her arms as she dropped to her knees. I don't know how long we stayed just laying there in the garden but when she finally started to speak again the sun was already beginning to dip. "How have your lesson with your father going?"

"Well, he's more fun than the tutor." She laughed a bit as I looked up to find it getting darker. I sighed as I started to get up but she just held me tighter. 

"Stay. It's alright." I frowned as she smiled up at me.

"But it's getting dark?" Her only answer was to pull me in even tighter and I smiled. I could feel someone in the black watching. I could feel his eyes on me even the sun disappeared. The world plummeted into an icy wind but mother just laid there with me ignoring the surge I gave off. It was nice. It was the first time I didn't have to struggle and fight against myself. "Mom..."

"I know, Vae. It's fine." I always stayed out of everyone's way at night. I was 10. I was well aware of my lack of control so I worked around it. When the sun went down I was in my room. But mother she... She held onto me despite the cold and held on with a smile on her face. "Do me a favor and look up, son."

"Ok?" I rolled myself over a bit and glanced up at the many stars that littered the night sky.

"When you look up there what do you see?" I just narrowed my eyes as she frowned. "Vae..."

"I just see dark. It's dark mom. The sky is black with only the stars to keep it company." I could see her frown as she rolled over to look at me. 

"What do you see when you look in the mirror?" I couldn't help but cringe, which she noticed of course. "Do you want to know what I see?" I frowned as she pulled out this small mirror and held it out for me. "I see my own little night sky so full of light and color."  My eyes narrowed as I just stared at my reflection. My blackened skin melted into the shadows but the bright white markings shined like the very stars she wanted me to up at. "I see a very strong and capable boy."

"Mom, you're getting sappy." She laughed as I pushed myself back into her. I couldn't hide the smile though. A night sky... full of stars and color. That's how she saw me? "Can we just stargaze?"

"Of course, Vae." I could hear laughing and I frowned sitting up and immediately getting pulled out of the memory. I looked over to see Roman standing there covering his mouth to hide the laughter and I frowned.

"That was just so..."

"Don't." He sighed and sat down beside me. "Roman what's the point of all this. You're showing me all these things but... They're gone now. What's the point?"

"You can't bury your feelings, Virgil." I started to hug myself and he frowned pulling me in. "I wanted you to remember all the happy times before you had to see the bad. It was the only way I knew you couldn't hold back anymore."

"It hurts. I don't want it..."

"It has to hurt Virgil. Otherwise, it will never heal." He pulled away and I watched as he got to his feet. "Let's go again. Ok?" I could feel the anxiety burning through me and he gave me a soft smile as he held his hand out. "Think of a moment with them where you were the happiest."

"The happiest?" He nodded as I slowly took his hand only to find myself standing there in a doorway.  I looked around feeling like someone was watching me as I just stood there looking into the room. The room itself was small. A single bed with thin blankets placed beside a slightly opened window. The curtains were pulled back allowing a thin stream of light to shine through the room, landing on a small bassinet placed in the corner of the room. I smiled as the soft sounds of cooing reached me past the even breathing of my sleeping mother.

I giggled quietly as I carefully tipped toed over to the lonely bassinet only to freeze the moment I peeked over. I don't know what I expected. I don't know what my 5-year-old brain imagined would be in there but as I balanced on the little stepping stool looking over at the thing I couldn't stop smiling. The thing was a baby. Mom had a baby... and it was looking at me.

"Hello, baby." My voice was barely above a whisper as it smiled at me. It smiled at me! "My name's Vae." It laughed a bit as it started to grabby hands at me. I just smiled back. There was a baby in the castle. Dad never told us why mom had left for so long. He only said she'd be back with a surprise. A baby... I reached in letting my gloved finger brush against its cheek and... I couldn't tell you how happy I was. I was crying. I started to sniffle as it laughed wrapping its hands around mine. I already love it...

"Vae?" I jumped slightly stumbling back of the step only to laugh at the awkwardness. I looked back to see Mom sitting up in bed and I smiled as I walked over to her. "I see you've met your brother." If it was possible for drow to 'light' up, I pretty sure I did. Not only was it a baby, it was a baby brother. A baby brother... I looked back with this huge smile as Mother laughed. I jumped back on the step to see the baby smiling as it slowly fell asleep.

"Hello, little baby." I whispered again as Mother carefully got out of bed to stand beside me. "I'm your big brother." Mom seemed to smile brighter then she had ever done before as I reached in again to gently pet his cheek. "Momma, what's his name?"

"Haven't decided yet. I thought it best to wait until I was home with your father." Is been a long time since she left. It's been over a month.

"Momma, how old is he?" She laughed a bit as she ruffled my hair.

"Nearly 8 weeks..." I narrowed my eyes as I saw the little baby start to fuss a bit grabbing my finger again and I smiled.

"I love him." Her eyes went wide a bit as I looked back with a smile. "Can we keep him?" I would have thought she would have laughed at me, but the way her tears started to fall I frowned with worry. "Momma?" 

"Vaeril..." She picked me up in her arms and laughed lightly as she cuddled me close. "You are going to be the best big brother ever." She paused for a bit and looked over at the baby before setting me down and kneeling down in front of me. "Vae, how would you feel if he shared your name."

"Like how I share yours?" She nodded and I couldn't help but smile brighter. Momma once told me how the ae in my name came from hers... Trae. And how the en in Calen name from Dads. "You want me to..."

"I'm thinking..." She paused for a bit with a smile.

"Ren." I spoke out without thinking and mother froze on the spot. She raised an eyebrow and I smiled anxiously. "I-I heard t-that some places Ren mean the protection of children." Her eyes went wide and I stepped back up on the step to smile over at my sleeping baby brother. "I want to keep him, safe momma... Like Kay does for me."

"Renril it is then."

"VAERIL!" I jumped back as the pained voice filled the void sending me spiraling. "Why?" I looked around the black praying to find something, someone. "WHY DIDN'T YOU SAVE ME?!" I froze dead in my tracks the moment the black melted away to show a pyre up in flames. The bodies of my mother and brother positioned beside each other, hand in hand. "Why didn't you protect me?" The phantom voice of ren rang in my ears spouting words I had already spoken to myself. "You promised to protect me."

"Virgil?" I looked back to see Roman standing there and his eyes went wide. "Aw... babe." He ran over pulling me in as I clung to him and broke down. It hurt so much. The pain... the guilt. Not only did I lose my mother but I failed to keep Ren safe. I made a promise. I was the big brother. I shared his name. And yet I let him slip through my fingers. I let them both down. I let everyone down. Everyone. Father... Mother... Ren and... and...

"CALEN!"