Norse Code: Thor's Daughter

Chapter Twenty

It had been a solid two weeks since the delivery of my daggers and the advancement of my lightning abilities. It was a crazy ride, like riding a roller coaster blindfolded, I never knew what was coming next. Some days I felt on top of the world, in complete control of my powers, like nothing could stop me. The next I could be struggling to produce even the smallest spark, and when I managed to make anything appear, I couldn't control it for long. I was immensely frustrated, even though my father and everyone around me was amazingly supportive. I couldn't understand why I couldn't get a better grip on my lightning affinity. I had trained and trained and trained for weeks on end. I only ever took the time to eat, shower, and sleep before I was back in the gym straining to understand what I was lacking. I knew my dad was worried, and Steve had tried multiple times to talk me into taking a break for a day or two. I simply couldn't.

I was beginning to understand that my lack of control may be more of a mental issue than an issue of physical capability. Every time I managed to produce a spark of power, I felt an oppressive cloud of doubt roll over my shoulders. I struggled to keep it at bay, but it was a vicious circle. The more I struggled, the more I doubted myself, which made me struggle even more. I grew more and more frustrated each day, and everyone was beginning to learn just how much of a temper I actually had.

After week three of struggling, I resigned to sit myself in the training room until I managed to keep control of my spark for longer than three minutes. The Avengers had since taken residence at the new Avengers facility Stark had built in upstate New York. Here I could carve out my own little space that was completely my own to train in. I ignored everyone around me and completely centered my focus on the only thing that mattered, my ability. If I couldn't master the one thing that truly made me Asgardian, then what was the point of remaining with my father and his team? I felt like my powers were the only real tie I had to him. The rational part of my mind knew this was just another finger of doubt slipping into my mind, but I couldn't fight it back just the same.

I centered myself in the dark room, sitting cross legged on the floor just counting my breaths and think about how my ability made me feel. The goose bumps that raised across my skin when it finally broke lose. The static that clung to my clothes and hair, charging me up for the next burst. I finally felt myself making some progress and opened my eyes as the sparks raced across my fingertips. My heart raced as I struggled to maintain the power, and I batted away each dark thought entering my mind with blinded fury. The clock on the wall marked one minute passed, and my lips curved into a smile. Two minutes. My mouth broke into a grin as my eyes stay glued to the sparks jumping between my fingers and both hands. Two minute thirty seconds. The light flicks on and the door bangs open.

The sparks in my hand fizzle out as I whirl around and lock my eyes on the intruder. My father strides into the room like he owns it, and his eyes lock on mine with a fierce determination. My anger boils to the surface as he stares me down.

"Addaline Amelia Thordottir, I have had enough. I have left you to your own devices yet you still put this power over your own needs. You spend every waking moment in here. It is not healthy, my child."

My hands clench at my side as I try to rein in my fury.

"You don't understand, Father. I am choosing this, I am eating and sleeping, I am maintaining my health. I see no issue."

My father balks at my seeming lack of understanding. His eyes soften just a touch as he realizes just how angry and determined I am.

"Child, I understand how you feel about this, but your judgement is clouded by your will to master this power. The way you are working yourself is not healthy for your mind, your body, or your spirit."

I'm vaguely away of Tony and Bruce stepping into the room silently. Their lab is the floor above mine. They know probably better than anyone just how much time I spend in this training room. When my father moves to speak again, I am unable to restrain my anger.

"No father, it is you who does not understand. This power is the only thing I have to claim my Asgardian blood. It is the only this that connects me to you and this family. It is the only thing to connect me to my home in a world I've never even been. This power is the only thing I haven't mastered, yet the only thing I can master to make me whole. So I must insist one last time, I AM FINE!"

I nearly scream as I utter the last words of my rant, my balled fists thrown out in a fit as I shake with anger and at the same time, doubt. Doubt is always the enemy. Doubt is what caused me to gasp in disbelief as my power exploded from my fists, lines of energy reaching out to swipe my father across the room and into a wall. He fell to the floor, shock written across his face as plaster and dust rains around him. Tony and Bruce follow him with their eyes, shock and concern written across their face as well.

I bring my hands to my face, covering my mouth as shocked tears stream down my face.

"Dad...Dad I'm so sorry... I didn't mean to....I didn't mean....I'm so sorry."

I lurch into a sprint as Tony and Bruce help Thor stand up. I run as fast as my feet will carry me and gulp down heaving breaths as the doors of the elevator close in front of me, blocking my view of my father's concerned face down the hall. Even though his face is concerned, I notice Tony and Bruce's hands hold him back from chasing after me. Good. I wouldn't want to risk hurting him again anyway.

"Where to, miss?" JARVIS' voice chimes, sympathy lacing his electronic voice.

"My room, please."

I stare straight ahead as the elevator swiftly rises to my floor. When the doors open I waste no time running to my room and locking the door. I stand still in the center of my room for a minute before deciding that leaving is the only choice. I refuse to hurt the only people who have every truly cared for me my entire life. It was blatantly obvious that I would never be able to control my power, I didn't deserve it. My human blood tainted me, the idea of doubt itself was so human, so weak, it was what held me back. Chains I would never break.

I shoved the bare necessities into a plain black Stark Industries backpack. The emergency cash came from the safe in the wall behind my bookshelf, and I silently thanked Tony for his obsessive planning. I stopped for a single second to look at the polaroid of my father and I before shoving it in my bag too. I lurched down the hidden emergency stairway no one ever used before making my escape through the underground garage. From there I took the tunnel that lead outside the gates and into the woods. I suppose living at a superhero facility truly had it's perks for escaping unnoticed. As I walked through the woods, I found the last security camera that marked the edge of Avenger's property. I looked up at it through shining eyes, tears running down my cheeks.

"I'm so sorry dad, I never meant to be a disappointment."

I closed my eyes and with a deep breath turned my body to the South. I opened my eyes and put on foot in front of the other. I told myself I would be fine on my own. But there was the human part of me, the doubt slinking in, asking the question I didn't want to hear.

"But will you really?"

So...long time, no see right? I couldn't even tell you the last time I even had the urge to write anything creative. All my time has been devoted to school and working two jobs. #adultlife To be honest, I haven't even seen Infinity War OR Endgame yet. *GASP* I know. But the good thing is I have a new friend that reached out and has so kindly offered to help fuel me with ideas and maybe even take on some writing to get this story finished! So huge thanks to @mockingjay0070 for reaching out to me and giving me the idea and motivation to write this chapter, and hopefully finish Adda's story!!!