You Changed My Life

36. Hospital Waking.

Song for this chapter:

Breakeven- The Script

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Connor's POV

It's been twenty days and Noelani still hasn't woken up from her coma. The doctors are starting to think about giving up on her but me and Tyler are doing whatever we can to stop them.

She looks so pale, so delicate, so scared. Me and Tyler haven't left her side. We have had friends bring us clothes and we have had the revolting hospital meals. We don't want her to be alone when she wakes up.

Tyler hasn't been holding up to well, but then neither have I. I forgot what it feels like to be happy. It feels like I have been sad for the longest time. Sometimes I forget how to breath, it's like I am choking with regret for not finding her sooner. We are frightened to never see her smile again or to hear her laugh that is so infectious.

We have phoned up Noelani's relatives to tell them what has happened but they all hang up on us and don't care. Some of them even start laughing as we tell them the bad news. I don't understand how people could be so horrible, so cruel, so selfish.

I feel so bad that Noelani doesn't have a proper family to support her, but me and Tyler are her only friends, we are her family. She only needs us two and we will never leave her.

I have been alone with her a few times. I beg her to wake up so I can see her eyes. I miss her voice so much. Her laugh and her hugs are what I crave when I am with her.

The nurses were scared about how her cuts may heal but they have been healing okay. She will have the scars on her stomach though, the word across her fragile skin forever.

But beyond that I want to be able to hold her in my arms and tell her the three words that I should of told her ages ago. The three words I should of told her before the restaurant, before this all even happened. The three words that will hopefully warm her heart and I will get the same words back.

I want her to know why, she deserves to know the truth. She deserves to know that the kiss we shared on my video was more than just a kiss. I felt something magical and I know she did too. The fact she blushed when I said she was wearing my clothing, the fact that she went shy after we shared the moment.

She must have feelings for me because why would she want me to be her first kiss after everything we have been through?

The argument, I know that destroyed her just as much as it destroyed me. But somehow, after all the shit she went through as a child up until that moment, she still held onto me not willing to let go. Even if that meant keeping distance between us she always had hold of me in her thoughts.

I always hold her hand though. I wait for her to squeeze my hand but I never get that. I just have her small fingers lightly holding my hand. I intertwine our fingers or trace small patterns into her palms. I wonder if she can feel it when I do so?

I always move her hair out her face. Her hair has faded slightly, it's no longer the chestnut brown, it just looks dull. It falls from my fingers and down along her shoulder or on her pillow.

I am slowly falling apart but I wonder if she can hear what I am telling her, because right now, I am saying "I love you".

Tyler's POV

I'm really worried about Noelani but I'm doing my best to stay positive and to be there for her when she wakes up. It gets harder as the days pass and she shows us no sign of waking up.

Me and Connor are both sat on either side of her hospital bed and we are both holding a hand each. She looks paler than usual and so breakable. I hold her hand lightly, it doesn't even feel like her hand is in mine because it is that light.