She Wants What She Hates ~ Ally/You (G!P)

32

"It's gonna be okay," Jah repeats, breaking from me. "But you gotta see the positive side of everything. You're successful as fuck, vro." I sniff and wipe my eyes, "Am I really?" He furrows his eyebrows, almost looking angry.

"Yes, you are. Look at you! People know Y/N 'Pebbles' Johnson. They love you and you gotta girl that loves you more." I shake my head, "Nah, I recently broke her heart."

He sits next to me on the floor, bringing his knee up and resting his arm on it. "Why? How?" I brief him in on what's been going on with Ally and I and he practically looks at me in disgust.

"You didn't start 'loving' this Leigh girl until you heard her on the radio? That's pretty fucked up," I nod. "I know," I sigh. "I'm a mess," I pause, looking down at my lap. "A stressed and depressed mess," I chuckle weakly, hoping he'd laugh too.

I turn to him to see him staring at me with a thoughtful expression. "What?" I ask.

"You been writing out what you been feeling, vro?" I shake my head, "Other than what I just spit a minute ago." He nods slowly, "I gotta challenge for you." I smile makes a way on his face.

The expression makes me chuckle a bit, when deep down, I wanna cry again because it reminded me of when he was little. "What is it?"

"I want you to get a notebook and lock yourself in your room and be alone with your thoughts. Write whatever you feeling, no matter how outta pocket your emotions might be. Write about your girl, your family, who or whatever. It's just you, that paper, and your emotions," he says.

I nod at his words, "That's actually good thinking, X." He shrugs, looking ahead of him, "That's what got me where I am, honestly." I pat his shoulder proudly, "Did a damn good job, too." He chuckles, "Thanks. I'm really tryna turn my life around, y'know?"

"Yeah, I do actually." He scratches his head, looking my way again, "So you know about me?" I shake my head, "Media shows the worst in people, so I don't believe that shit."

"I get that. I mean, they shitted on you, vro," he laughs, hitting my arm with the back of his hand. I chuckle, "Hell yeah, but seriously, man, I'm proud of you."

He gives me a soft smile, "Thank you. I appreciate it. I'm proud of you, too, Pebs."

There was a comfortable silence between us before he speaks up, "No, but foreal, I need you to do what I said. You'd be amazed at what you'd create when you're completely alone. By what I heard, you got a lot of demons to exorcise."

I nod, "I do. Almost 23 years worth." I chuckle weakly. He agrees with a huff, "Yeah, same. Though, 20 years worth."

Another silence until he breaks it with a surprising request, "Can I ask something of you?"

"Yeah, what's up?" He looks at me seriously, "Look, I already know I'm not gonna make it to 25. That's just what I know. But I need you to keep my legacy alive." My face contorts in horror, "Man, don't talk like that.

"Like what? Facts? Pebs, I've been knowing I'd die young since I was 11. So if I turn up dead some day soon, I need to know that you'd hold me down?" I could feel a tear come on hearing his words.

The fact that this is his mentality and has been for a long time thoroughly saddens me.

"Jah, don't say no shit like that, bruh. You ain't dying on me," I beg feebly.

"Will you, Pebs?" He asks again, ignoring me. I stand up abruptly, looking down at him with a slight glare, "No, I'm not."

He stands up too, anger evident. "And why not?"

"I can't have my little brother talking like that, that's why not," I almost yell in his face. He stares at me with a stuck expression and it takes me a few seconds to realize what I just said.

"Wait... you're my sister?" I don't answer; instead, I leave the booth, grab my things, and start to leave. I feel him tug the hood of my hoodie, "Yo, wait. You ain't leaving without telling what the fuck you meant."

I turn to him, angrily wiping a tear from my face, "Ask your momma." I yank from him and storm out.

Too much was going on in my head for me to think straight.

I jump in my car and all but sped home with blurry vision. When I got there, I went up to my room and closed my door. I sunk to the floor and cried hard.

I don't know why I've been crying so much lately. Maybe it's the years of suppressed feelings or something. Then hearing my little brother talking about how he's not gonna see 25 just threw me over.

Maybe that's why I blurted out that we were siblings. That connection that siblings have was strong on my end; I don't know about Jah's.

I admit, our bonding moment today was what I didn't know I needed. Even of it did start out with me crying like a baby. The fact that he thought to comfort me meant a lot and I doubt he knows that.

"Pebs? Was that you that came in?" I heard my dad's voice boom through the halls, approaching my room. Seconds later, a soft knock raps on my door. I wipe my eyes and clear my throat, "Yeah?" I answer as clearly as I could.

"Oh, hey. How was time at the studio?"

A mess.

"Its was good. Already working on my debut."

"And I can't wait to hear it," I could hear the smile in his voice. "Anyway, dinner will be ready at 7, so wash up." His footsteps descend until I couldn't hear them anymore.

I hug my knees to my chest, wiping my face on my pants. My face fucking burns from all the frustrated wiping.

But there was too much happening.

I need to sort things out one at a time, and right now my priority is getting back my happiness.

I need to get my Ally back.

*This was kinda rushed but it's also 7:23am here and I just got of work so my eyes are drooping as I type..... Hope y'all liked this and have a beautiful day