See the Stars with You | ✓

GRAY

Gray

Everything's gray again.

I lay on my side, forcing out a shaky breath, wishing I could cry, wondering why the hell I can't cry. I should be crying.

I should be bawling, but my eyes are dry. It feels wrong. I should be feeling something, anything.

I glance at Olivia's Chair.

The Boy grins at me. "I finally googled out how zippers work!"

I stare back at him, my throat too tight to respond.

"Do you want to go to the beach tomorrow? Also, your friend keeps checking me out. She's nice, but I have a thing for people stuck in hospitals. Okay, that sounded way creepier than I'd intended. Forget I said that. That I said anything. Let's start over."

I blink again, and he's gone.

*

I force down a bite of food under Olivia's eye. She does nothing to fill the silence, either. I wonder if she knew him before I did. I can't bring myself to ask her, not when she seems to be in more pain that I am in.

She catches my stare, but doesn't say anything.

"You're not hungry today, huh?" She takes back my tray. I don't say anything. She avoids my gaze as she sets the tray down.

I try to tell her that I get it, now. That he won't come back. He's gone. We'll never see him again.

I'll never hear him laugh at his own jokes. I'll never run my hands through his hair, and I'll never feel his lips over mine again. Maybe I could, if I hadn't been so stupid. I should've seen it coming. It doesn't matter if the signs were real or all in my head, because nothing matters anymore. I could've stopped this. And now it's too late. No matter how many times I think of ways I could've fixed this, I still fix nothing.

Suddenly, something inside me breaks, and all I want is to hear his laugh, and to run my hands through his hair and to just kiss him. Just one more time.

A single tear falls down my cheek.