shattered heart | j.j.k

Redemption Pt 2 | 49

Y/N's POV:

"What are you doing here?"  Jungkook was standing in front of me, his foot struggling to keep my door open.

"Y/N, please let me say sorry.  O-or at least let me take care of you," he said desperately.

This is way too soon.  Way  too soon.  

"Look, Jungkook, maybe come later.  Like way later.  Maybe never even."

"I can't do that.  I have to apologize to you.  There's no way I'm leaving without saying sorry."

"Well you already did," I said, rolling my eyes.  I pushed harder onto the door to force his foot out.

"Y/N, please.  Just this once.  After this, you won't see me again!"  

"You're really stupid you know that?" I said chuckling.

"W-what?"

"Do you really think I wouldn't want to see you again?  I don't throw away friendships that easily."

"T-that's not what I meant."

"I know," I said, my voice rising.  "I know what you meant, but running away from me isn't going to fix the problem you created."

"I know that," he said quietly.  "But I just thought that you wouldn't want to see me again after what I did."

"You're right, I don't.  Not right now at least.  But I still value our friendship.  I still remember all the memories we shared, the laughter that we spread together."

"I do too," Jungkook said confidentially.

"Do you?" I asked laughing sadly.  "You don't know how hurt I was when you did all those things.  You don't know how many times I cried hoping that everything would turn out fine.  You don't know anything!"

"Every time you pushed me away for your girlfriend, I questioned whether our friendship was worth it.  The answer was always yes.  But it felt like your answer was always no.  It didn't seem like you ever had time for me or even cared enough to make time."

"But still, I told myself that if I held on for a little longer, you'd be spared from the immense pain and heart ache I went through.  That you'd be okay if I kept everything a secret.  If I was your shield a couple more times."

"I get it, I get that your girlfriend is more important than me.  You love Ji Woo and you should spend time with her.  Make her happy.  Be each other's light.  Protect her.  But don't you think tripping me in front of everyone was too much?"

"What happened on Christmas Eve, I let that slip by.  I forgave you.  You didn't know about what was actually happening.  I should've told you but I didn't.  But the recent incident, that was uncalled for.  You humiliated me!  Do you know the amount of people uploading that video onto social media right now?"

"The amount of comments and people laughing at me?  Of course you wouldn't understand, you aren't me.  You weren't the one going through the pain so it was fine.  The amount of embarrassment I felt that day is something you'll never get to feel."

"If you truly valued our friendship like you said Jeon Jungkook, you wouldn't have done that."  I didn't even realize I was sobbing until I took a breath and couldn't even breathe because of my runny nose.

Jungkook's POV:

Seeing how hurt and broken Y/N felt destroyed me.  I didn't know how much she cared about me, because up until today, nobody cared about me that much.

At times in her rant, I wanted to interrupt and tell her how much I loved her, but I let her get everything out.  I would've much rather preferred a slap over hearing how sad she was.

I couldn't take it anymore.  I slipped through the small crack and hugged Y/N tight.  

"L-let go," she shakily said.  Her small arms and hands tried to unravel my body off her body, but I stayed firm.

"I'm never letting you go," I said.  "Never, whether you like it or not."  I wrapped myself around her even more.  

"I'm sorry.  I genuinely am.  Me saying it a thousand times won't be enough.  But believe it or not, I valued our friendship more than anything.  I was blinded by Ji Woo.  You're right, I shouldn't have trusted her over you.  You were always the one by my side even when I wasn't by yours.  I'm sorry for that as well.  When you were crying or feeling down, I wasn't there.  But when I even frowned a little, you made me feel as if I was the most important person in the world." 

She was struggling against me, but then she suddenly stayed still.  

"Even though I never shows my affection as much as you did, I cared and still care for you a lot.  I missed your cute laughs and wide smiles.  I missed your funny jokes and edgy insults.  I missed the way we would watch movies together and down gallons of banana milk.  I missed you a lot.  Those five months that we weren't talking to each other, those were the worst moments of my life.  I didn't have as much fun, life just seemed to be dull.  But I didn't realize in time why I felt that way.

I'm sorry that it took your suffering to make me realize everything.  If I could go back in time to fix everything, I would, but I can't do that.  The only thing I can do is make your future better.  I'm not asking you to forgive me now, I just want a second chance to redeem myself.  Will you give me a second chance?"

We both stayed still for a while.  It seemed like the clock had stopped.  The tense atmosphere was so thick and I felt nervous.  

"Fine you idiot," she mumbled.

I instantly hugged her even harder.  "Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you!"  

"Gosh, stop it.  I'm going to die because of you!"

"I promise you won't regret your decision!"

To be Continued...

author's note: do you think that was too quick? should she have forgiven jungkook just like that? should i have made his apology longer or made her take time to consider his proposal? the story's getting a bit long and i wanted to get into the start of their coming together again quicker, so sorry if future chapters seem more rushed.

anyways, thank you for reading! <3